Joe Rogan Experience #2523 — Ali Siddiq

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trans women in sports, trans women or women, let them play in sports. That that was a recent Supreme Court order. Three judges said that trans women should be able to play in women's sport. The rest of them said [ __ ] no. The other six canceled it out luckily.

And you know those people are not taking into account

the sport like it's a it's a difference. If you uh was originally something and now you playing in something else.

Your strength is different and and you know you don't feel that until your daughter get knocked out the ring where she's supposed to be boxing somebody that that's the same gender. Then now she's her whole side of face broke from, you know,

it's insane. It's insane. It's and it's not cruel to not let that happen in sports. That's what Title N is about in the first place. Give women the opportunity to play in in in an equal time as men. That's that's a good thing. Having men that think they're women play with women is [ __ ] crazy.

Like what do we It doesn't mean you you know you need to castles people out of society. It doesn't mean ain't that you live and let live. I agree. But get the [ __ ] out of the women's room.

Yeah, you're not you're not

you have a dick.

If you uh

get the [ __ ] off the team, you're you're running track at a literal a women's Olympic level and you're 15. Why? Because you have a dick. This is crazy. You're not really a girl. This is nuts.

You know, that's the that's the world we live in. And oh well, that's I'm not even going to say that's the world we live in. That's the world that's being presented to us at this point. That

That's right.

You know, and it's you know, it's a lot of things is like this, man. you. This is why in comedy I choose not to go the current the current affair or the political route

cuz I don't have time to separate the room. I'm too busy trying to do things to bring the room together and that's more of a righteous aim for me.

Well, you I said this before, so I'll say it uh live publicly. what you've done is very extraordinary because you've made a giant following online completely organically. It's very inspiring because all you do is just do your thing the best that you can and put it out there and it just keeps growing. It's amazing. It's very it's very cool. It's very inspirational and uh it's you should be proud of it because

what you've done, like I said, it's totally organic. Like you don't have a bunch of production companies pushing you and trying to make you more popular than you are. No, it's all just putting it out there and getting this gigantic following just from your work.

Just the work.

Appreciate it. And then, you know, even with that, you still have um some type of responsibility to not see things the same as other people. Like what? I just got all this flak about me talking about the how this business of people inflating things has caused depression in comics. You know that we supposed to be a a happy craft, but now it's this big push about if you're not

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on social media, you're not on this, you're not on that. A lot of these comics are, you know, going through this mental health thing where they always sad about their numbers or, you know, or this that [snorts] and the third. Like, yo, man, it it is a it's a thing and some people inflate things and everybody wants to be on the same level. So sometimes you you can't be or you can but people look at it as a certain way where when you proud of the steps that you've taken and if I played in the GLeague that's not the NBA.

So I wouldn't say that I was playing I played in the league cuz I know what the league means. I know you know I know this says this the G-League but when I present myself yo you know I play in the league. people automatically think the NBA, you know, it's not it's not no the G-League is not and not knocking the G-League, but that's not the first thing that comes to my mind,

right?

You know, you know, it's just a

playing for the Washington Generals is not the NBA.

Even though you played against the Globe Trotters, they were great players, [laughter] right?

But we we know how this game goes, but people that's how people see things now.

Well, the numbers things is real. The numbers thing is is a real problem with people because it gives you like a quantifiable measure of whether or not you're doing well. And if you already have anxiety, which a lot of comedians have, you're already like socially awkward, which a lot of comedians are, you don't feel accepted, which how a lot of comedians feel. And then you look at those numbers, you're like 2400. I only have 2400 followers. I've been doing comedy for seven years. Why do I only have 2400 follow? And then you go to someone's page that you never even heard of. They have 1.2 million. You're like, "What the fuck?"

And and so this is about being grateful in the position that you you're in. I remember when they would people was pushing me, oh, you need to get on the internet. You need to be on social media to be okay. But I would see those people that had all those followers. And that same year, the year before that, I did a half hour special with Comedy Central. Then year um 2018 I did a full hour special with Comedy Central. I had um 500 followers on Instagram. [laughter] I had 300 followers 300 subscribers on YouTube on a page that I didn't own. I had to fight to get this page. I had less people on Facebook, but I was efficient in what I was doing. So the numbers didn't they didn't pick me because I had these numbers. They they picked me because I came and I did what I did. And then they Oh, he's he's great. So then we we started going, you know, a route to to build it up, but we were already getting things prior to the numbers,

right? What what year is this again?

This is 17 and 18.

Okay. So the difference is that in 17 and 18 people were just starting to be aware of the power of social media and then they were really concentrating on different comics that had a large social media following. You know I think that was like right when it first started happening.

Dane Cook had blew up before that.

That was a Yeah, that was a MySpace thing.

That was a MySpace thing. Internet another internet thing.

That's true. That's true. That was different. But the the difference is like he had gotten so huge just from that that he was already doing like arenas.

And when they So he was already huge and then they just went with him like but but he was like super popular. Now it's like super popular on social media is one of the most important things.

So now now moving up to this cuz I I have a strong ar with this. So I have um million followers here, million followers there, all these specials. I still didn't get invited to the BET Awards. I still didn't get I still don't get invited to a bunch of things. I still get looked over for things even though I have numbers and success, but I don't worry about it. I'm just in my I'm not watching to judge myself against what somebody else is doing. It's guys who have less everything, but they're in this they're in this realm where they they had every they at everything. I I see guys is at everything with no um with no specials and no proven thing. They just around and I'm like, okay. But it's I'm not j I think the point that I'm not judging myself up against what somebody is doing socially,

but that's also easier when you're successful and you're successful. You're very successful. So the difference is like when you sell out these shows and you put out these specials, like I've seen your specials have millions of views. So it's like obviously you have a following. If you didn't and you were doing the same thing, then it would be a problem. But then also that would it's like comedy in a lot of ways, not always, but in a lot of ways is a meritocracy. If you're good, people will come. Yeah, it's that simple. Fight night is here. Title shots, debut killers, and the rising contender nobody's talking about yet. And only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. The DraftKings app is now available in all 50 states and includes all markets, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers, sign up with Code Rogan. Spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days. That's code Rogan in partnership with DraftKings. Crown is yours.

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But I also have no desire to inflate things and compare myself to somebody or make myself seem like I'm more than what it is. Like guys, hey man, I got I'm at this room. I got 50 tickets sold. Okay. How much the room seat? Oh, the room seat 300. Okay, cool. You had 50 people more than you had than if you didn't play the room. You know what I'm saying? Because who knows you in Utah? You're bu it's it's a it's a building thing. Like I got all of this all of this going on.

But if I go to Utah,

I'm in a comedy club. [laughter]

It doesn't matter what happened the night before. I was just in an arena. But in Utah, it's like it takes me back to um on trading places. You know what I'm saying? He said, "Hey man, this is" He gave he gives all this elaborate what this watch is. And that man said, "This is what this causes St. Louis." Like I don't care about you ping the watch and saying, "So I don't have

that. And I'm not if I'm It's like you you you own the club." Okay. It's guys that can come to your club and sell your club out. And then it's guys that come to the club and you pay for the room. Okay? Then there's guys like when you in the theater, some you can scale a theater down. Some theaters hold 4,600 people, but you can scale it down to 2,000, but then the I'm not going to say if the room holds 4,600, I put 2,000 tickets on sale. I didn't sell out the the um the theater. I sold what I put on sale. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm not to the point where I can get the 4600 yet. If I could sell the room out, then I I I need to relish the real accomplishment versus the the lesser accomplishment

inflating. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's and because I don't have this thing where I'm in competition with what happened before me, you know, so

with other people

if so I'm in San Antonio, we at um we at the the theater

and cuz people can make you feel bad about anything if you if you a person that feels bad. just think um Minnesota it's it's all these people that's on the team that that play for the Boston Celtics that are millionaires. They already millionaire. They play in the league. Boston traded seven people to Minnesota for one person. Kevin Garnett, they got rid of seven human beings for one person. [laughter] So it's like if I was a person that felt bad about my career, this was would make me feel bad like they they like the first person that they they okay I'm going to trade this person for that person. They're like no. Well, I'm going to give you two more people. They're like no. And then I'm going to give you four more people. Okay. And and a and a lottery pick. Okay. I I'mma feel horrible. They traded me for seven people.

Y'all didn't even want me realistically. So Boston went they got Kevin Garnett I mean um what's it yeah Kevin Garnett and seven other millionaires they got all this money that's got all this they went to Minnesota you know what I'm saying? So if somebody wanted to make you feel bad about something you know they they could if that's how you are. So I'm at I'm in San Antonio. The line is around the block. The place is sold out. It's the same sellout no matter who comes as that lady said to my face tomorrow. You should have saw it when Matt Refe came. I WAS LIKE IN MY MIND I WAS LIKE AND I ASKED I SAID was it a different theater? She said no same theater. So when Matt Refe came he sold it out. I sold out two nights I mean two days in the same night but her thing was you should have saw when Matt Refe came.

I was like okay. She probably wanted you to feel bad. [laughter] I

like, but I'm not. Good for you.

Good for you. But good for you. But the thing is, a lot of people would. That's that's what it is. A lot of people are in competition with other people. I think you should be inspired by other people.

You know, if you want to compete in that way, be inspired. But the the moment you turn it into a negative. It's like, are you you're you're a fool. You're being a fool.

Competition is power. It's fuel. If you see someone doing well, so you see someone set and you like it,

that's fuel that makes you want to go work, makes you want to get some [ __ ] done. It makes you it gives you energy.

It may

or it could [ __ ] you if you're a dummy. If you're a dummy and you get angry and you get bitter and then you just put all this negativity on the person who's doing better than you, which a lot of people do, [snorts]

that's that's that's a weird that's a weird dynamics in this business when you know that it's going to be people do no matter what you're doing, it's going to be somebody doing better than you. When I was in comedy clubs, I remember being there and they were papering the room. Okay, I wasn't saying I was selling out. They was papering the room. I know out of all the is 300 people in there. 240 of these people came because it was it was free. They sent out their email blast. [laughter] But then what I looked at was they wanted to come.

Yeah, they wanted to come. They're probably comedy fans, which is why they were on the email list in the first place.

And then those people, you give them a great show, they'll come back.

Then the next time I came, they didn't pay for the room. They sold it. They sold the tickets.

That's That's how it used to be, man. That was the old days before social media. You would build a market. So you would just show up at Philadelphia once a year. Show up, do your homework, like make sure you got a tight set, you've been practicing, you're ready to rock, [ __ ] these people up, and then leave. And then they're like, "Can't wait till you guys are back again." And then next time you come back, you you know, all right, I I built an audience now. I got I can't disappoint these people. I got to get fired up. And that's what it used to be. It used to be a totally organic thing across the whole country.

Is it a Is it a thing? Is it a difference in your opinion between me bringing my audience to a venue from whatever other thing that I do versus people coming that don't know anything about me and me winning that person over versus the

Yeah, it's a different thing. You know, people are coming to see you specifically, you've already won them over. That's a different thing. or they want to take a chance on you. That's a different thing because they've heard about you. But when you know that that's a completely different thing cuz that's your you have an audience now. You have fans. When you are just performing at a club and it's a papered room, you have an opportunity. You have an opportunity to turn these people into fans. You have an opportunity to give these people a great night and have a good time. And also, you're doing your [ __ ] thing, which is the most important thing of all. Everybody is resultsoriented. I try to be processoriented when I with with everything I do, I'm processoriented. I think about there's there's a goal that you got to reach, but how do you get to that goal?

The way the way you get there is not thinking about the goal. The way you get there is thinking about what you're doing. What's the process? The process is writing bits, performing them, tweaking them, getting them tight, knowing, reviewing tapes, going over your material, going over your writing, talking with friends, and then every day it gets a little bigger. Every day it gets a little better. Every day that knife gets a little sharper. That's the process. That that's the process that leads you to become whoever whoever you are.

And then you add other little pieces in that process. I remember I um I was talking to Bobby Lee and me and Bobby Lee talking. I said, "Bobby, you don't realize where you met me at." And he's like, "Well, is this a good this going to be a good story or is this a bad story?" [laughter]

Bob's got a lot of bad stories.

I said, "You you you met me at um at the Houston Improv and they called me and asked me did I want to host a room that I already sell out." You know what I'm saying? They asked me did I want to host. I said, "Cool." So, I came and I hosted and I was un not trying to, but I was destroying his feature. I'm just hosting. And

we should not be hosting, especially at the Houston Improv.

But my thing was, this was years. This was years ago. But I say, "Bobby, you didn't understand when the when I was hosting at the Houston Improv, I was doing something that most people didn't understand what I why I was even doing it." Well, like why? And they would see like why would you be hosting?

I said because I'm not going to be in front of Bobby Lee's audience,

but it's people that live in Houston that his audience that I have no I that have no idea who I am.

I said, Bobby, but before you,

I say I was coming to the Houston Improv hosting for multiple people and I was just winning over fans that would never had seen me if they wasn't coming to see you. They wouldn't be coming to my show. I said, "So before that it was you were last, Bobby. It was you and the week prior to that it was Monster Jabbr and the week prior to that was um what's my girl? Um um Angela Johnson." Angela Johnson. And before that it was um some random white guy. I said, [laughter] "I just came and I want to do I'm a comic." So me hosting was no big deal. I wasn't working. So I said, "Well, let me just come host it. That's what they want me to do." So I gained fans from four different audiences in a month. So when I came back, they was like, "Yo, I saw you with Ma Jabbr." And so I came back I came back to see you when you when you put your show up.

I'm like, "Cool." So my process that was a part of my process. I it didn't matter who I hosted for. And then I was like, "Okay, cool." you know, let let me let me go like with when I hosted for um Bill Burr, Bill Burr was like, "This is crazy." We had we in Austin at the Paramount is and like and I said I said the worst thing about this was that at the time I was wearing all black and I went to the show and I when I walked on stage the first thing I said is, "Hey, I do not work here. [laughter] said, "Don't like eight people asked me where's the bathroom?" I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WANT BUT IT WAS LIKE I look like a usher like [laughter] like yo I was like yo this sucks, you know? But but it was a cool

That's hilarious.

That's a smart approach. I mean that's a great way to build especially if you're already headlining.

Yeah. I think I think that that thing about concentrating on the process people should try to apply that to everything you know. Um my friend John Dudley who taught me uh archery, he's a big believer in that being process oriented like that's how you get better at archery and he used to compete all over the world, travel, compete in archery tournaments. I think that's the I think that applies to everything. I think that applies to music. I think that applies to everything. The mo I think was one of the things that trips people up about social media. A lot of these young guys in particular, young people in particular, is that they are thinking about other people and they are comparing themselves to other people and they are looking at those numbers and you're you're looking you're spending all of your energy if you have an allotted 100 units of energy in a day.

You're spending a a disproportionate amount on things that don't empower you and actually kind of [ __ ] your head up. Not good for you at all. instead of saying, "Wow, I am chasing the [ __ ] dream, right? I am out here being a professional comedian and I have a real chance to develop a real following. If I put my time in, I put my effort, I really care, and I really work hard, I could sell out of theater one day. That's possible." Like, that's a goal. It should be a goal, just like getting your PhD in chemistry or whatever the [ __ ] it is your goal is. But the process is what's important. The process is like appreciating what you're doing, why you're doing it, and just bearing down and doing your best. That's it. That's it. And and other people, look at them as inspiration. Other people that are kicking ass, you know, don't go don't get become a hater.

That [ __ ] is so bad for you. I know so many dudes who have like hater tendencies and they never excel. Never. It's the the counter thinking of a an an excellent person is a hater. someone who's always trying to diminish people and downplay people and look at someone in the least charitable way, in the worst possible way, does somehow or another trying to make themselves feel better, but it doesn't work.

It does the opposite of work. It robs you. It robs you of your self-esteem. It robs you of your self-respect. You're spending so much time thinking about this other dude. Like, why?

It's a lot of It's a lot of energy. And my dad, this one, this is one story that I did not put in the special that I should have. And my dad had all these these thoughts and he was I I literally say he was a crazy man. But when you think about the things that he would say made sense my dad and why would you be telling me this at the age that but he just gave them I I think I was like 11 and my dad out of nowhere is you know something people spend the same time and money on being fake when they can put put that same time and money into being real.

Yeah. I and I'm like I didn't know I didn't understand what that meant. But as I got older, if you spend any money or time faking something,

you could probably spend that money and time being real about something.

Yeah. You know, why go buy a fake necklace to pret like you rich when you can go buy a real necklace, you know what I'm saying? At some point, you know what I'm saying? And you know, be actually be rich, you know, if that's what if you keep comparing it to necklaces. But I just didn't understand it at the time. But then as I got older, I understood like why put this why put this time in to pretending when you can put that same energy and then become real at what you do. It makes no sense.

My uncle Vinnie when I was six or seven years old, I was staying at his at his house with my cousins and uh we were um we were supposed to brush our teeth and I didn't like following rules period and so I wouldn't brush my teeth. Instead, I would take toothpaste and smoosh it around on my teeth and so that when they smell my breath, they would smell toothpaste. And my uncle explained to me, he goes, he goes, "Uh, I understand why you're doing it." I go, he goes, "But the amount of time that you're spending pretending to brush your teeth. You could have just brushed your teeth." And I thought about that when I was six. I was like, damn. I was just a little kid. So, but I was like, ah, he's right.

Why am I faking brushing my [laughter] teeth? I feel like 6 years old. I was like, I feel like such my uncle Vinnie was like super patient, super calm out of all my family members. He was the the strangest out of all these wild crazy Italian people. Like he was he was an artist and he was like ve very softspoken and never got angry about anything. He would always speak really rationally. I was like, God, he's so smart. He's just so peaceful. He just but he the way he laid it out when I he didn't say hey I know you're not brushing your teeth you little [ __ ] was wasn't that it was the time you're spending pretending to brush your teeth you could have just brushed your teeth

just brush

but it was like sometimes adults will say something to you like that when you're six and it just gets in your head you're like whoa okay that just saved me a whole lot of time [laughter] like I just brush them

just brush your [ __ ] teeth

stop pretending stop faking it doesn't help anything. It's does the opposite.

Does the opposite. And you know, people the truth sometimes is is hurtful to

The truth doesn't feel good. You know, to a lot of people, unfortunately. But, you know, you have to look at it. You have to have perspective.

But that's the ultimate hate right there. That's the ultimate hate is for me to give you a falsehood instead of tell you the truth. Right.

That's the ultimate It's the ultimate

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hate. Like

especially if like you're making up a background for yourself. [snorts] You're making up a story about your life that's not true. You're you're pretending you're somewhere in life that you're not, you know?

Yo, man. Just do the thing. Just do the

Yeah. But it's hard for people. It's hard for people. And then there's a lot of people that think you just fake it until you make it. And then you hear stories of this guy. I had $500 in my bank account and but I told them I got this I got that loan and next thing you know my business is making all this money and you go wow he faked it until he and it worked and you think it's going to work but it doesn't work most of the time

so few and far between then then they never tell you that that guy goes to jail later for fraud

yes 100% [laughter] 100% the feds busted my house three years later and took everything like okay

exactly like when they arrested Carl Spencia recently for like all his counts of tax fraud. I was like, "Okay, I don't want that to happen to him." But there it is, right? I mean, that's what it is.

I'm not laughing at Carlos. I'm just laughing at the [laughter] fact that you like, "Yeah." Yeah. When they busted

I mean, I didn't I wasn't It didn't bring me any joy to see that. I don't like anybody getting arrested for taxes. I think I think taxes until they have an accurate account of where the [ __ ] money goes and until you completely eliminate all fraud and waste. What the [ __ ] are you doing locking people up for not paying taxes? Like you guys should get locked up for not doing a good job with our money. So, what you think about all the new purchases and redoing the White House and all this with tax dollars?

Did they do it with tax dollars? Like, how much money did they spend in tax dollars to do the ballroom?

What's that?

Let's find out.

What's that? Um,

they need a ballroom, though. That's how that guy snuck in with a gun cuz they tried to do that White House correspondence dinner at a hotel. That dude who uh got arrested a few months back.

What What's this this this resolution? the pool something full of algae right now that we spit all

Yeah, I don't know about that. That's something about making the pool look nice. That that whatever that is reflecting pool.

Yeah, the reflect.

Reports indicate the new White House East Wing Ballroom is projected to cost about 600 million with roughly half just over 300 million coming from taxpayer funded government accounts despite earlier promises that it would be taxpayer free. 300 million sounds like a lot until you find out how much money they spend on other things. When you find out how just how much fraud it is in NOS's, how much fraud is in nonprofits, how much fraud is in insider trading and propping up companies so that they can get better deals. Well, the the whole thing is fraud. The the thing is if you spending I understand how much money goes and other things but you if you spending any money that that that's my money that I don't know that that I need it or that's not really the aim the goal

you should be able to vote on it.

You should be able to vote on it. But

you should be able to vote on where all your tax money goes.

How much money is how much tax money is being spilled on getting smart people in places? Getting smart making smart children.

That's the big one. That's the That's the thing.

The big one is if you look at our country as a community, and that's what we're supposed to be doing. We're supposed to be the United States of America. All that [ __ ] aside, that was the one good thing that happened about 9/11. When 9/11 happened, after that, we were all united. It was crazy.

It was crazy. We realized like we are actually on a team. So, if we're on a team, why do we have these deeply impoverished neighborhoods for decades and decades that are riddled with crime and drug abuse? Why you is it impossible to fix? That's crazy. That's not true. It's just no one's tried to fix it. No one's done any effort to fix it. And if you did fix it, you want to make America great. Here's the best way. Less losers. And how do you get less losers? More opportunities for people. More opportunities, more support, more education, more everything that you need if it was your neighborhood.

And if we did that, we we'd have to switch the way our system runs. But that could be done, man.

That's the thing.

You don't have to have losers. Not that many losers.

That's the thing about make America great, right?

If you trying to make anything great, don't you need intelligent people to do that?

Of course, that's the number one thing. So when we have all these divisive people that that's on a lower vibration, how is that making the the the country the country great if we're putting people in position that don't have the experience or the education in those in those things and then we just saying a bunch of divisive things, you know. Yeah. You know, it it's it was if if I'm watching the the extravaganza that happened at the White House, what was the thing? Michelle Obama is a man. Like, how did that help? How did that help?

That guy says that every time he

But what is the what is the the thing? First of all, it's it's really divisive because you know that a large portion of the country is going to take this has going to have a problem with this. You know, clearly she's not a man. You know what I'm saying? But it makes no sense like to I've never seen this many people say so many damaging things about a past president. It's like he's still on the forefront. And it's not like we have a president that's doing the greatest job for this this country, you know, which is which is weird a weird thing to me. And people going to ask is that what's the belief? That's the that's the real belief of people. That's the real thing.

Yeah. Well, listen. There's some crazy people that believe the world is flat. There's a lot of dumb beliefs. There's probably people that do believe Michelle Obama is a man. What that guy does, he's like a pro wrestler. Like, he's got a character called The Incredible Hulk. It's very corny in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's, you know, cringy. But the point is he gets a lot of attention. A lot of attention because of all this. That's what he's doing. So what he's trying to do is maximize the amount of attention that he can get for a very short window of career. This is not how he really feels, how he really thinks. When you talk to him in real life, he's very reasonable. This is an act that he does, like a pro wrestling act. But what he can do is fight. He's really good. And that's what's so confusing about it all. So, you got this guy who's created like this fake persona where he puts on an American flag bandana, comes out the Hulk Hogan music, does all his interviews with sunglasses on, has a bunch of crazy silly rhymes, and says ridiculous [ __ ] just trying to get attention. The most amount of attention. It's It is very divisive, don't get me wrong, but that's by design.

So, he's Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in the same in the same

an actual fighter and a really [ __ ] good one, man. He just knocked out Derrick Lewis at the White House. Derrick Lewis has the most knockouts in the history of the sport.

Don't don't don't do that. Don't do that, Joe. Don't do what? Let's just let's don't don't don't say that so excited cuz Dererick Lewis go to the same gym um Main Street Boxing Gym in Houston. I'm very close to that.

Dude, I love Derrick.

I don't like the fact that Derrick Lewis lost that fight.

I think Derek Derek [laughter] of 10 years ago would have been a real [ __ ] problem for that dude cuz Dererick of 10 years ago, you couldn't hold him down. He would just get up. He there's a whole compilation of people trying to hold Derrick Lewis down. He just gets a hand on you and just whoop you. His grip. They did that UFC grip thing where they test the grip. Everybody's like 140. The strong ones are like 160 19. Derek just squeezed it casual 218.

And they were like, "What the fuck?"

So you see how problematic this was for me. You already beat

my friend. Then you turn around and say

he beat a 40year-old Derrick Lewis.

A 40-y old Der Lewis. then turn around and say Michelle Obama's a man. I was like, "Okay, you know something.

I know what you're saying.

I'm pissed."

Listen, you're [laughter] right. Listen, you're right. But I'm telling you, if you met that dude in real life, you would get it. He's just a dude. He's just a guy who is a competitive wrestler, played in the NFL, and he's like, I got to do something to figure out how to get people to pay attention to me because it can't just be fighting. It's not enough. If you look at Conor McGregor, you look at Sugashan Ali, you look at these guys that have these flamboyant personalities, these big personalities, they get Cashes Clay is the original example. They get an immense amount of attention and that translates into much more money and much more opportunities. There's no [ __ ] way that guy would have gotten that fight at the White House if he couldn't fight because the fight that he had before that he fought Curtis Blades who was a top 10 UFC heavyweight huge wrestler and they went to war, dude. I mean, he put it on him for three [ __ ] rounds. Like Curtis just has an insane heart and survived it. But that guy can [ __ ] fight. But just that alone is not enough.

You got to get attention. I don't agree with it. I don't I wouldn't do it. It's not my thing. I don't like it. But I get it and it's smart.

With Muhammad Ali though,

he was very respectful in his in his in his act, you know, to get attention, you know, just like

No, he wasn't.

I mean, he wasn't with other people, but he would show up at [ __ ] Sunny Liston's house and scream about him on his [ __ ] front lawn at 4 in the morning. He did wild crazy [ __ ] He he did he did a lot of W. He was just all about getting your heart rate up, getting your emotions in there. He was so [ __ ] smart. He knew before everybody that you could just get somebody into a frenzy and they wouldn't be able to sleep. Their whole life revolved around fighting you and I can't let this guy beat me. And the fear of losing, it's going to keep you weak. It's going to keep you. You're not going to be able to eat as much food. You're going to feel nervous.

But you see what happened when somebody called him Cashes Clay.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. [laughter]

See

who was that? Who what fighter was that? He kept punishing him saying my name. Your mama named Clay. I'm call. But that that didn't work out for him. Well, he beat the

he beat the piss out of him and he carried him. He carried him while he was beating his ass.

Dude, he was uh a special special guy. It's, you know, I'm not comparing him in terms of his cultural significance to Josh Hokit because, you know, he was uh my parents, my mother and my stepfather were hippies. They never watched fighting. But when he had a rematch with Leon Spanx, that's how much of a cultural figure he was. They wanted him to beat Leon Sp.

Oh my god, he's got to win. He's got to win. Hippies sitting in front of the [ __ ] TV in like 1970, whatever it was. You know how crazy it is. They have Italian hippies. [laughter]

Like cuz I heard it was like my family. He was like, I thought they was Italian. Italian. [laughter] Well, they were hippies, but you know, my grandmother went to jail for running numbers for the mob.

So, it's like there was a lot of uh

Okay.

There was a lot of [laughter]

real Italian. Yeah. Grandma went away for a little bit. [laughter]

She wouldn't rat them out, so she did some time.

I was at a I was at a show one time and I said, "Um, where all the Africans at in in here?" And this Italian dude, he's from Sicily. He raised his hand. And I said, and the people like, "Why is he raising him?" I'm like, "He knows." Like, "He knows.

He knows."

So, he was like,

"Yeah, there really good reason why Sicilians have darker hair, curly hair, darker skin."

He was like, "Yeah, you know what I'm saying?" And that's all I said was he knows. and and and [laughter] people who got it, they was like

okay like and at that point it's like when people don't know that that you have some sort of level of intelligence like some information

they like oh okay like yeah it's a it's a big but that's that's funny though um Italian hippies but then my my grandmother also

well you there was a lot of hippies back then man and I think u the original idea behind it was great and I was just watching this thing today about the CIA A and LSD and what they did. It was really funny, man. It was a um

that video.

Yeah. Animal. Isn't it dope? [clears throat] See if you can find it. Put it up cuz it's kind of cool.

There's conveniently an MK Ultra hearing going on right now in the

Oh,

how convenient.

Listen, bro. That they I got it right here, Jamie. I'll send it to you. Um they 100% are still doing that. No ifands or buts. If you think they did that in the 60s, and they 100% did. if they're doing mind control experiments on people and they're influencing people's opinions and half of the reason why people are at odds with each other all day long on online is probably government intervention at one point or some government's intervention

this is

if not ours Russia and China and

this is wild that

the CIA created the hippie movement and your mom's favorite band probably helped them in the 1950s the CIA bought up the world's supply of LSD they brought it to the pharmaceutical company Eli Liy who reverse engineered it, giving them an unlimited supply and a complete [music] monopoly. Then the testing started. One early volunteer for these tests was Ken Kei. Kei wrote a book inspired by this experience which became a bestseller. Then Kissi went on to host events which he called acid tests. And he wasn't charging anyone. He just wanted people to show up and do acid. For these events, he hired an unknown house band called the Grateful Dead. These events became wildly popular and with them rose the popularity of the band. So, the Grateful Dead begins touring, and Casey follows them around in a bus from show to show.

And everywhere he went, he brought a vat full of Kool-Aid laced with LSD. This guy had a seemingly endless supply, exporting the hippie culture all around the US. Meanwhile, the CIA is flooding college campuses with LSD under the guise of research, and the Grateful Dead was just one of many bands in [music] this movement. At the same time, in Laurel Canyon came a wave of musicians with something in common. [music] They were all children of high-ranking military officials. the biggest names in music. Jim Morrison of the Doors was the son of an admiral. Frank Zappa's father was a chemical warfare specialist. Even Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Yeah, all three of them. And all of these bands as well. The theory is the CIA orchestrated the hippie movement to steer a very real anti-war movement into something a little easier to combat.

Descent without Teeth. The hippie slogan was literally

turn on, tune in, and drop out. In other words, do acid and remove yourself from society. And a lot of them did drop out of society to go live in communes in the woods. This intersection between hippie culture and the CIA could all be a great big coincidence. Maybe military brats naturally want to rebel. And maybe the CIA was giving away acid because they're chill like that. Maybe the CIA created the hippie movement and your mom's favorite band probably helped them.

Ain't that wild?

That's crazy.

That's wild. They also had a big influence on gangster rap. Big influence on promoting gangster rap for sure. 100% proven.

100%. Yeah.

You rather push

they wanted to fill prisons.

You want you want to push that over anything else, you know, cuz we can look at how rap music changed and when it changed,

you know, 1992.

After 1992, they was like, "No more positive rap."

Well, it was whenever Straight Out of Compton came out cuz I was in Boston at the time. I would remember to the day it happened.

But Straight Out of Compton wasn't a drug field induced. It was, if you look at some of the song, you look at a lot of the songs that was on that album, it was rebellious songs against the system,

[ __ ] the police.

And then 1992, man, when they decided, yo, we don't want no more day soul. We don't want no more tribe conquest. We don't want no you get them leather medallions off your [laughter] it's like yo we we need we need like yo babe what like self-destruction and um west coast west coast all star they was like what they coming together hell no you know we need this to be divisive we need them to separate and that's crazy that that the the biggest times that that I've experienced this country being together was the Olympics when the dream team came, 911 and co. That's the biggest time that we the three biggest times I've ever even seen us together.

Yeah. Because we need something. We need something that's real and we need some sort of an event that makes us realize first of all the fragility of life. That's important. And we have to realize that we're all supposed to be a part of a team.

And and and we you can't play on a team if your teammates don't think that you that you valuable.

Not only that, you can't play on a team if your teammates are poisoning you. If your teammates are allowing you to eat rotten food so that you can't play and maybe giving you inferior gear on purpose and maybe keeping you in a place where you can't get sleep so that you're not going to evolve, you're not going to like you're always going to be tired. You're going to be fatigued. So, you're never going to get better at whatever the [ __ ] it is you're doing. You're never going to advance in life. You're going to be tired. You're going to be on drugs. You're going to be poor. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week there's some new wellness hack that people swear by and after a while you start thinking why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies. That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armorra.com/rogan. This is how I see

that's not a good team.

This is how I see with parenting. It's hard to parent if your your number one goal is survival,

You know what I'm saying? It's it's hard to parent, right?

You know, you you got to parent from a comfortable space. You can't parent from nervous chickens really don't lay eggs. That's true. So the thing is you if like the way I parent now versus how my mom my mom was strictly survival. So my thing is survival first.

You know what I'm saying? Then the rest of it, you know, I don't remember going to um on vacation with my parents, you know? Like vacation? what [laughter] your mom working two jobs and going to school trying to better she's just taking care of you right

so I'm not in the position my kids go on vacation you know it's different you know so I I see things from both sides all the time because I'm and which makes me grateful I'm grateful that I can do the things I can do with my family you know what I'm saying versus parenting from a place of frustration

you know, but I understand this this this frustration thing, you know, I'm trying to take care of you and you know, and then sometime I look at my kids like, you know, something, you have it really easy because if I wouldn't have washed them dishes, my mom would have destroyed me saying because her mindset is, "Hey, I'm trying to take care of y'all. Y'all got to help in this." You know, with me like we have a housekeeper, you know what I'm saying? [laughter] Like the housekeeper come in four days out the week, you know, and now I'm like, so you just going to throw that stuff on the floor and you making it hard for the housekeeper? You know, the reason why she's here four days a week is so to make your life easier, but you you're adding on to

by being lazy.

By being lazy like like I don't

there's a balancing act, right? You want to protect your children, but you don't want them to develop soft. You want them to be able to take care of their own problems, and you want them to be able to understand the consequences of their actions. So, there's this like fine line of like encouragement and punishment and like explaining to them how your life was different and you have to appreciate this life. This is very unusual. you're super fortunate. But I think ultimately what they learn from is how you behave. That's a giant part of being a parent that people I don't think are totally aware of until you start doing it. That they understand you. Whatever the [ __ ] you say is one thing. That's great.

What you do is what they really see. If you're a lazy [ __ ] who's always making excuses, your kids are going to not have respect for you. They're going to know like real early on you're kind of full of [ __ ]

This is the craziest thing though. You know how hard it is to put somebody on punishment and then say, "Hey Pat, we going to Cabo." [laughter] HE'S LIKE, "AM I ON PUNISHMENT OR WE GOING TO CABO?"

GET YOUR iPad for 16 hours. [laughter]

Yo, when we get to Cabo, you stay in your room and overlook the ocean.

Think and think about your consequences as you order room service. You know, [laughter] they're drinking Coca-Cola, eating French fries,

lamb chops coming to the room. He's like, "Yo, you on punishment, dude. So I can't so I can't have oysters." Like [laughter]

hear the birds chirping.

You look looking at the waves, you know, like it's it's it's rough. And it's a being it's a it's a certain part of success that you almost can't punish because it's like I'm not staying at home [laughter] because you on punishment. See my mom would she ah it's just different you know

it's different.

My mom would go in her room and turn on Knand in a dynasty and I'm in my room with no TV cuz it was only one TV. There's a TV in every room. You know what I'm saying? I mean, oh, the punishment was come in here and watch Falcon Crest with me. [laughter] Why? I don't want to watch no Falcon Crest. And then you start watching Falcon Crest and now you love it. You like, so when when is it coming on again? [laughter] You know,

you get addicted.

That's why I like MASH. You know what I'm saying? I would be in I'll be in trouble and you watching Mash and Bonanza, then all of a sudden you love Mash. I cried when Mash went off.

[laughter]

It's like that. Do

you remember the dude who dressed up like a girl in MASH? Jamie Far.

He was my neighbor.

I was your neighbor?

Wow.

Back in California. He lived right next door, two houses down.

Wow. Clinger.

It used to be just me and him and then another guy built a house in between us.

Uh he was cool. Very friendly guy.

Played a played a charact played a good character.

That was a good show.

Yeah, Mash was a very good show, you know. And I I I said this the other day to a friend of mine. I said like I listen I used to ride and take my kids to school and listen to morning shows, you know, really Tom Joiner, you know, um listen to Tom Joiner. And this is something I can listen to with my kids. Now there's there's no morning shows that I can listen to with my children without them putting in a different element that I'm I don't want my kids to be a part of. You know that's a weird thing that they cursing on radio and doing all this other stuff.

But they can't curse on radio still.

Oh

yes they can.

Can they? They changed it.

They they'll drop a b word in a minute.

Oh a b word.

But that's it. You can't you can't use you can't say [ __ ]

No. But but the rest of it you know my you know you got daughters. You in the car.

Right. Right. Right. And you're hearing some [ __ ] you don't want them to hear. Like that's that's a weird thing. You like so they go to school and you know at the and they say

you you watching the

be you like damn that was the ending of the show

So like so so now you just we riding and listening to Ko you know what I'm saying with no talk. Oh I I listen to NPR. I listen to um Urban Urban Network, you know, for them to listen. Now they got all these political questions and and you know when your 5-year-old like so why aren't we voting like oh it's cuz you've been listening to Karen Hana saying the whole the [laughter] whole time on the way to school or from school. So it's um it's weird how you what shows would you sit down and watch with your kids now? You know, I they had to watch the the shows that I grew up watching. You know, you got to go back. You got to watch Perry Mason and Family Matters and, you know, the Cosby Show, you know, Different World. We have to go back and watch good times, you know. We can't

watch the current things, you know. So, you know, even with with comedy, I took I took Hassan to a comedy show with me to see some friends and he was 14 at the time and we left because it was no, it was nothing. the things that were being said. It it kind of made me go back to when um Cosby did the the story about his son going to see Eddie Murphy and [snorts] he daddy said these things and [laughter] said I was sitting there like the after the first two minutes I'm like yo we got to get out of here.

How old was he at the time?

14.

14. That's too young.

And I'm like yo man. [clears throat]

But

but I mean the guy who's doing comedy is doing comedy for adults that are drinking in a nightclub right? No, we was at a we was at a a event where it was all these bodybuilders. The gym um Next Level had did a um a show for all the the the people that work out there and the trainers.

And I'm thinking, okay, this is at a ballroom, you know, it's probably going to be pretty cool.

And I I stopped in, you know, we sat in the back and then it went left and I was like, "Hey, man, let's get out of here." and he's seen me and so he's like, "Nah, this ain't that this ain't the same." I'm like, "Yeah, I'm not I'm not going for a certain type of laugh. I'm not doing shock value, you know." So, he's watched almost all the specials, you know, so it's not the it's not the the same for for him, you know, and he look he knows a lot of comics, so it's it's not this wasn't conducive. I was like, "Hassan, we out. [laughter] We out of here." He's like, "But it's sometimes you can go and you can watch they they whole show like a Marcus D. Wally, he can get an understanding of at least marriage, you know, how how marriage go to give you some some fuel. But I think the the landscape of of comedy is different for different people.

Not knocking the people who do shock value or or or a lot of sexual content. That's their that's their stick and and they probably young and at some point they'll grow. Hopefully they'll grow and it'll be more things in life to talk about. People like, "Well, how do you have this many specials?" Um because I have a life, you know, I had a life before that I talked about and then I have a life, a current life that, you know, I'm still experiencing things. So, I'm going to talk about things that that's that's a little different because I'm I'm living and I'm not stuck in sex is not the the number one thing. I I remember when I used when I when I figured that I was sex wasn't that big when I went to, you know, they had the thing Netflix and chill

and I actually wanted to watch the movie. [laughter]

Like, yo, get your hand off my leg. I I'm trying to watch this movie. You know what I'm saying? So, [laughter]

that's funny. So, it's a it's a thing about the development in this game of how you grow and what you think about.

Well, I think comedy is just the one of the problems with the label is that there's no genres. It's not like blues comedy, rock and roll comedy, hip-hop comedy, EDM comedy. It's just comedy. You don't know what it is. It's just different people's perspective on things. And there's different kinds of comedy that people like. You know, some people are giant Richard Prior fans, some people are Sam Kenisonson fans, some people are Jerry Seinfeld fans,

and some people love Bonnie Rate, and some people love, you know, whatever, James Brown, fill in the blank. There's a lot of different styles of music. And there's a lot of different styles of comedy. And all that I care is that you enjoy what you're doing. And you're doing it because you enjoy it. And if you're doing that, I don't give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] what you're doing. I don't care if you have props. I don't care if you write signs and hold them up for the crowd. I don't give a [ __ ] what you're doing. I don't care if you do impressions. I don't give a [ __ ] what you're doing.

That that was a a huge [clears throat] So, when talk about the scope of comedy, you know, I'm I can start with Carol Bernette and I I watched that, but the the guy who I watched on HBO a lot, I knew I wasn't going to do that type of stand up. It was that was just a whole different thing. But Gallagher

was crazy to me.

Crazy.

That was the craziest. [snorts]

Everybody wore plastic. They have garbage bags around their neck.

Front what? Six rows.

Yeah. Just getting splattered with watermelons and pineapples and coconuts and whatever the [ __ ] he was cabbage. [laughter] Ridiculous. Ridiculous. But he also had some good jokes. Some solid jokes in between then. Dude did a ton of specials.

Yeah. You know the craziest story, the Gallagher story is Gallagher retired and his brother took over. His brother was Gallagher 2. So he had a brother that kind of looked like Gallagher.

I remember that. I remember Gallagher 2.

And then somewhere down the line, Gallagher decided he wants to start doing comedy again. And he's like, "Hey, Gallagher 2, the gig is up." [laughter] And he's like, "No, no, no, no, no. I'm making money. I'm Gallagher 2."

I think there was some sort of a legal dispute. Find out if that's correct. There was a legal dispute between them. Galler's younger brother, Ron, who shared a strong likeness to Leo, asked him for permission to perform shows using Gala's trademark sledgeomatic routine. Leo granted his permission on the contingent on the condition that Ron and his manager clarified in promotional materials that this was Ron Gallagher, not Leo Gallagher, who was performing. Ron typically performed in venues smaller than those of which Leo Gallagher performed. After several years, Ron began promoting his act as Gallagher 2 or Gallagher TO or TWWO. In some instances, Ron's act was promoted in a way that left unclear the fact that he was not the original Gallagher. Leo initially responded by requesting only that his brother not use the sledgeomatic routine. [laughter] You can't use the [ __ ] You can't use the sledgehammer. Rod nonetheless continued to tour as Galler 2 using the routine.

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In August 2000, Leo sued his brother for a trademark violations and false advertising. The court ultimately sided with Leo and granted an injunction prohibiting Ron from performing any act that impersonated his brother in small clubs and venues. This injunction also prohibited Ron from intentionally bearing likeness to Leo. What? Imagine you can't look like your brother.

Cut your mustache.

Yeah, you got to change your mustache. You got to get rid of the beard. That's crazy.

So, did um did Gallagher continue with his career after he kicked his brother out? Did he come back?

Probably.

Was that part of it?

I think it was.

Yeah, I think. I don't know.

No, but you mean does it say it there?

Didn't say it here or not.

It doesn't say

not specifically in this paragraph. No.

Does Did when did Gallagher uh start performing again? Put that in a search. see what it says because I think he did start performing again.

Yeah, he says it's uh he was rushed to the hospital after performance in 2011.

so

okay. And what year did he sue his brother?

2000.

Oh, so he did start doing comedy again. So that's it. Yeah.

So he's like, "Hey, motherfucker."

Yeah. He had a special in 2007 and 2014.

Yeah. You can't be doing that with Gallagher 2 running around siphoning off of your crowd. [laughter] You know, people like, "Honey, you want to spend 50 bucks and see Leo [laughter] or do you want to spend 20 bucks? See basically the same [ __ ]

and see Ron

see [laughter] Ron smashing [ __ ] cabbage."

You know, then you had u carrot top.

And imagine saying, "Yeah, you could perform, but you can't use a sledgehammer." [laughter]

I would use a mallet. What about a mallet? Can I use a mallet?

Can I use a baseball bat?

Can I just have someone pitch me things? and I smash them into the crowd.

Yeah,

you can't own that.

That's that's a different thing. I'm handing out oranges and tomatoes [snorts] in the audience.

Yeah. I honestly I don't give a [ __ ] what you do as long as you like what you're doing. It's like I love certain kinds of music that's completely opposite to other [ __ ] that I love. I mean, I I like all kinds of stuff. I don't think you should pigeon hole yourself with with anything. But I would not take my kids, especially when they were really young, to see someone who's like very sexual or really rowdy or really runchy. Like I don't want to say,

you know, the the caveat to this is he was in the green room and they were looking right at him. Like they introd

Oh, so he didn't say, "Hey, bro, you got young kids."

Yeah. Hey, cuz I would say, "Hey, man, tonight you know." Yeah, it's at an event, bro.

Oh, I would definitely do that if especially if you were another comic and you brought your kids out, bro.

Yeah, cuz Juan Verel used to bring on dick sucking. We got to [laughter]

like, yo, yo, you got to you have to get him out of here.

They don't need to know about all these techniques.

Yeah. So, that that's weird, you know, but

Yeah, that is weird. But, you know what I mean? It's like time and a place like who was he doing it for? I mean, they probably knew what he did before they hired him. They probably wanted that. Someone's a fan,

which is fine, but just don't invite kids.

And like like I said, I didn't all I did was, "Hey, Hassan, let's go." And that's it. I didn't Hey, y'all should have been I'm like, "Hey, man, do what you do, but I'm getting my kid out of here, man." And then you get the phone call. Hey, man. Why you leave? You don't really want to know why [laughter] I'm leaving cuz you are terrorizing my child's [laughter] saying. So, yeah. It know. But I definitely wouldn't take my girls to to like none. I'm like nothing.

They don't need to see that early.

Not not at all.

My wife got mad at me when I think my one of my daughters was six, the other one was eight. Uh I had him watch the movie Alien.

You ever see that movie Alien? The original movie? Yeah.

[ __ ] terrifying. And I was like, "This is too young. This is too young. I [ __ ] up." You know, uh I think Hassan watched Annabelle when he was young and it was

Oh, Annabelle's creepy.

It was he was traumatized. He watched at somebody else's house.

Oh.

And you know, with some other kids and they and they were like I guess they they understood. But Hassan was it was a whole problem. Like you talking about sleeping with all the lights on in the house. Like I want all the lights on and I'm sleeping in your bed. Right.

Do you ever go to that place in Vegas? The It's uh Haunted M Zach Baggins Haunted Museum. He has the Annabelle doll there.

Yeah. There it is.

Which one is the one on the right?

Oh, hell no.

That's the real one.

Is the one on the left the movie one?

Oh, really?

Interesting.

Wow. So that Annabelle is both on creepy as hell to me. But

well, there's something kind of extra creepy about the one with eyes like a person, the left one.

That's insane.

You believe in ghosts?

Yes.

Really? Have you had experience?

Um, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I it I have. Let me go back. Let me let me say that. I do believe in ghosts. So, my old house where my mom stays at now, it's a girl that lives there. You know, I don't know what happened at this house, but it's definitely a girl that lives in his house. But she would only come from like the hallway bathroom to the kitchen. And I remember during the pandmic

Wait a minute. You say a girl, you mean a ghost?

Yeah, that's that's a girl.

She's definitely a girl. And I remember being during the pandemic, I was in the den and I was working on I was working on something and literally I just turned and said, "So you up, huh?" And cuz I could feel them. I was like, "Yo, cuz and I had to go back through my family. A lot of people in my family have experiences with past relatives that that passed on. My uncle said he saw his his dad was my grandfather um in his shoes. And my mom said she saw my grandfather before and that lived in that died in the house that they had in Mississippi. But yeah, I believe in ghosts. I believe in unsettled spirits.

Definitely had a girl that lived in that house.

My grandmother, the one I was telling you about before, she was very interesting and she uh she really strongly believed in ghosts. And there was a guy that stayed with them for a while. They had a um um like an upstairs area that they weren't using once the kids left. And so they rented out like it was like an attic space that they had converted or I forget exactly what it was. Anyway, they rented out a room to this guy where whatever the circumstances were and he died and my grandmother swore that that dude stayed in the house.

Yeah. I I believe it. I think it's possible that what if something happens to you that if you're dying, it's a very traumatic experience. And I have a feeling that we don't totally understand memory. And we assume that memory is something that only human beings have or that only animals have or that only creatures have, living creatures have. I don't think that's real. I have a feeling there may be a type of memory from particularly traumatic experiences that stays in a space. And I think this is one of the reasons why they have to disclose within a certain amount of time someone's been murdered in a house in a lot of places before you buy it because people don't want to live in a house that's got that energy in it. Because I think I think things keep energy. I think they do. They they I think there's something more to memory than just as simple as oh remember when we were five. I think there's something else there. I think I think that's our memory. But I think there's a type of memory in things. That's what I think.

I I believe in the unseen world. So I believe in gens, you know, I believe in angels. You know what I'm saying? So it's an unseen world. That's not, you

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know, our thing. But it was things that was things here before us, you know. So

I think there's things here with us.

Yeah, definitely with us.

People who don't think that haven't smoked DMD, [laughter]

but I definitely get a hold of some DMD and you're like, "Okay, I don't know [ __ ] There's there's [laughter] things around me all the time. There's things that are influencing you all the time." And this is like when we talk about like good energy and bad energy. One of the things you experience in psychedelic states is a clear recognition of like good things that you've done and bad things you've done. Good. The good way of thinking, the good way you think about things, a positive way and bad. Like I remember having negative thoughts in an experience once and it was all these like dark fractals. And then I realized it was trying to show me that these dark fractals, these crazy geometric, these like scary patterns that I was seeing was because of my own thoughts. And then I released them and it turned into beautiful geometric patterns over and over and it kept saying like look at this and look at this and I was like oh it's actually the way you think changes the world around you.

It has an effect. It might not have the ultimate effect. It might not be 100% of what happens to you and in your life but it has a meaningful effect. We just can't measure it. And there's things that are out there, whatever they are, they have some kind of consciousness that are around us all the time. We just don't have the senses to take them in. Just like when you wave your hand over an earthworm, it has no [ __ ] idea you're doing that. We don't have the senses to understand that there's things around us. And people have been writing about these things for so long to discount them all. They're all liars. They're all delusional. They're all crazy. I think that people discount on dudes of thinking that they were on drugs.

Well, they probably were,

but it doesn't mean they're wrong. It

It doesn't mean It doesn't mean they're wrong. You know, like

like a um a drunk a drunk really don't tell a lot of lies.

A drunk

a drunk don't tell a lot of lies. It go I can't I'm drunk. I can't remember all that. I'm just saying what it is, right?

You know what I'm saying? But when you when people like LSD, you know, you you hallucinate, you know, or mushrooms or these things, people like, well, you only saw that because you was on this, but maybe that's the portal on how you see certain things.

I think there's certain things that we block ourselves from being able to see by our own protective instincts. We protect our thoughts. I mean, this is why people, I think, get paranoid when they smoke weed. One of the things that weed does is it dissolves all these artificial barriers that you've put between you and and the thoughts of real danger. They all they're all there. You realize your vulnerability. You realize

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who you are.

So just think of how years ago how weed was viewed, how marijuana was viewed. Um it was taught that marijuana is the gateway drug to crack. Like right

I didn't believe that. Like how does that even correlate? But it's for those who are trying to find an ultimate high. Maybe you just smoke weed and that's all you ever did, you know, and you wasn't trying to find another high. I think some people try to find another high. Like now, man, a lot of these young people are on so many different things at the same time. Like what are you searching for? You know, they popping pills, doing coke, drinking lean, doing everything all at the same time. Like, what is and drinking like what what what are you trying to escape, but what are you searching for? You know, and I just know people who just smoke weed and still smoke joints. Like, they don't smoke the I know people who grow their own blood. They not even trusting what's going on now. Now, they finding fitnol and all this marijuana, you know,

and pesticides. pesticides,

horrible pesticides. Because what people don't know is that a giant percentage of all the drugs or marijuana rather that people are buying in places where it's illegal, they're growing them in national forests in California. And the cartel is doing it. And the cartel uses a bunch of pesticides and herbicides that are illegal, like real toxic [ __ ] And they find them doing it all the time. They find these growops in the forest all the time because it's a misdemeanor. So because marijuana is legal in the state of California, growing it is just a misdemeanor. So you could have a full-scale grow op, you know, public land out in the forest and these guys find them there all the time. A friend of mine found one in a ranch that he works at. He followed these PVC pipes and he realized some guy was diverting water into this little area that was on Tahone Ranch, which is a big ranch outside of Bakersfield.

But um this dude that was on my podcast before, his name is John Norris. He wrote a book about it. He was a game warden and he had a it turned into a tactical unit. They had to get like dogs like Belgian Malmois and [ __ ] with bulletproof vests and they're going in there having shootouts with the cartel cuz the cartel had set up these marijuana grow ops in the woods and it was his job to police that area. It's like, okay, I guess that's what we're doing now. And then they It's a crazy story, man.

Sound like moonshine. That's why you doing moonshine. Exactly.

And just think Moonshine Moonshining developed into NASCAR.

Exactly.

Exactly. They had to outrun the cops.

Yeah. That's what NASCAR came about from. It's fun. It's I mean, listen, also it's Al Capone, you know. It's uh all the the mob. They were all running alcohol and there's a lot of people that were connected to them. You know, some people believe that JFK's dad was involved in alcohol, but that's disputed. But the point is like a lot of people were making money selling alcohol and they were all criminals, all of them. And so what are you doing? Are you stopping people from getting marijuana? Nope. What you're doing is you are empowering a criminal empire and you're giving them an an immense amount of money and they're probably going to have to kill a few people because people get

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in the way. They're probably going to have to rob a few people because people are competition. There's a little bit of a problem over here. We got another guy growing.

When we live in we live in a a society where the bad guy is definitely romanticized,

So, how do you stop people from wanting to be the bad guy when it's so romanticized in in everything? You know,

it's romanticized to the point where John Wick is a good guy.

John Wick is a contract killer for the Russian mob. He kills who knows how many [ __ ] people and he's the good guy.

But but you got a problem with the Iceman.

Right. Right. [laughter] Right.

Iceman was a terrible person, right?

You know,

he did it with poison. John Wick at least look sexy in that suit.

But you cannot wait for John Wick six to come out. Wait. [laughter] I love those. Well, the John Wick movie though like he had a reason. They killed his dog and they stole his car. They [ __ ] up. They [ __ ] up. They stole the wrong guy's car and they killed the wrong guy's puppy. And so you're rooting for him. You're rooting for him to kill all these bad Russian guys. But you don't realize like that guy's been a contract killer for the Russian mob for who knows how how many dads is he assassinated. How many [ __ ] people that have families that will never come home to them because of John Wick

and Yep. And sometimes a lot of times, you know, people don't care. You know, that's weird.

Well, we're weird. We're a weird animal. We're a weird animal in a constant flux of thoughts and, you know, trying to figure out what's the right way to think and the wrong way to think. And people join religions for it. They'll join cults for it. They'll join political movements for it. They just want to find a way to think that makes them feel better than the way they think right now. You know, with with the need to feel better outside of yourself, you know, or your family, you know, or being, you know, great to society. I think that's detrimental to to to this society where I just need I personally need to feel better, but I don't want the community around me to feel better. And in my mind, if everybody around you in the community feels better, I think it makes for a more harmonious, you know, environment than me just being the only one.

Yeah. Because you're a wise person. The problem is there's a lot of people that aren't wise and there's no one wise around them. And that's that's the real issue is that there's a extreme lack of like a a a good direction book of how to lead a solid life. You're not taught at school. In school, you're taught to sit down and learn some [ __ ] that you don't give a [ __ ] about learning. Memorize this. Be do good on the test. You got to get a job. What's a job? Well, you got to sit there and do some [ __ ] you don't want to do to get some money. And with the rest of your time, you could do whatever you want as long as you keep showing up every morning at the same spot. Okay. And then that sucks. And so what do you want to do? I want to escape this suck. So what do I need? Cold

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syrup. Okay. Give me some of that. What do I need? Weed. Give me some of that. Add aderall. Oo. Add aderall makes me like the job. Okay. I'll take this [ __ ] every day. Now I don't give a [ __ ] Now I'm trying to get ahead. Next thing you know, I'm moving up the corporate ladder and I'm on a [ __ ] animal, bro. Cuz I'm on aderall. You're basically [laughter] on meth. You're on a welldesigned slow drip amphetamine and you're out there [ __ ] sleeping four hours a day getting [ __ ] done, you know, driving a Jaguar. And this is the problem with our society is that like people don't have a real there's a lot of people out there that don't really have a purpose. They don't have a real feeling of purpose in their life. You are very fortunate because you found a thing that you're really good at that you love to do and you make a great living doing it. A lot of people don't have a thing and they don't never they never never were taught to pursue a thing or they never saw anybody else do it and they realized they could do it too and then next thing you know they're married and they have kids and they're in their 30s and then they're in their 40s and they feel like [ __ ]

I ask you a question.

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You have a team, correct?

Team of people.

In terms of what?

Team of people that

Sure. Okay. Would do you think your team is happy doing whatever they do for the team?

If I didn't think that, they wouldn't be working.

Okay. So, you don't want to be the only one happy on the team.

That's terrible.

So,

and you don't want to also have someone on the team that is one of those people that just was never happy.

That's a problem, too.

Yes,

that's a problem, too. So

there's there's people out there you can't fix.

So with like I I produce other people's specials now and comics are hit me. Hey man, I want you to distribute my special. I want you to do this for my special and the hardest thing cuz I'm a small company. the the the the hardest thing is when I have to explain to somebody why it's a no, you know, on this particular special. And it's not just my no, it is for other people's no. Because I tell people and I explain this, if we doing a special with you, you have to get the approval of all five of us cuz we all five do different things. And I want everybody who's involved in your special to want to do it. Not they have to do it because it's a part of the company. No, I want them to want to do it. And I say I'm not putting you through a process that I'm not putting myself through. You know what I'm saying? And I've test and I've tested this team with me

um giving them a special that I knew that wasn't special. And I'm the the head. I'm like, I sent it out and they [laughter] we brought it back to the table and it was a lot of silence at first. I'm like, "So, what we think? What we thinking?" And they was like, "I don't know." Like, I like, "This is horrible." I'm like, "I'm just listening to everybody's, you know, opinion on it." And they like, "I don't understand the direction. I don't understand where you're going with this. I just, you know, we gonna have to fix a lot of it." I'm like, and I'm just sitting there listening. And we took the vote. And when we turned the vote in, it was five nos. And they was like, "So did what what was your take on?" I said, "I knew it was a no from the beginning. I just wanted to make sure that y'all wasn't going to try to fluff me with the cuz he's the head.

I'm we're going to say yes." And I'm like, "Good." So anytime we do a project, you saying I put it on the table just like I put anybody else's project on the table. And you got to get all five people. If you want me to finance, you got to get me. Then you got to get the marketing person that's going to market it. Then you got to get the director. You got to get the um the manager. You got to get everybody so they can feel good about pushing your project. I don't want anybody pushing a project that they don't like.

That's very smart. Yeah. So you make it a democracy.

Smart.

So if you got all five of us, then now we ready. You know what I'm saying? And and now I'mma feel good about somebody coming to me and say, "This is going to cost this,"

Because I know they're doing it out of, "Hey man, this is what's going to cost. We gonna figure it out. We" And I'm like, "Cool." But when even when I do a special, man, they it is a lot of you don't want to talk about this part. Like no, like we should talk about this part. and and it's been some decisions that have been made that was it was my call at the end but it was somebody else's idea like with domino effect it would have never been a domino effect two three or four if I would have stuck with the name that I started with the name was 1983

so how what it was going to be 83 86

like it's like and I've rug it um which won uh what three Rebby awards. Rugged was was the original name was I'm not Handy. And Eric called me was like, "No, we're we're I I've listened to it. I watched it so many times. I think that we should go with this name." And he he gave me the name and I sat on it for a day and then I called him back. I'm like, "Yeah, you about right. I'm

That's good. That means you got good people. you. And I think that you people should put like right now I'm on the custom fit tour. Um well I'm I'm off into August cuz I'm going to take six weeks of vacation. But custom fit is not going to be a special. It's just the tour that I'm doing now because the specials that I'm writing are different than what I I just wanted to take this time to just do some material. I didn't want to be working on the special, but the theme is about people think custom fit is about clothes. It's not about clothes. It's about tailor making the people around you. You know what I'm saying? That can you can be a benefit to and can be a benefit to you. You know what I'm saying? Not just having these people around cuz you know sometime people have a bunch of people around that secretly despise them, you know, and secretly despise their success. And that's uh that's detrimental to anything.

Haters. Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes haters will get real close to you, stay stay next to you.

It's a problem. I mean, when you're in a position like you're in too, when you're producing other people's specials, you're going to get a bunch of people to come to you that you don't want to do their [ __ ] It's just like owning the club. The same issue. The way I bypass that, I put all the power into Adam. Adam Eaggan decides who's there and who's not there and how how the the club gets scheduled and you know who passes and who doesn't and he's really good at it. You know, he's really good at it. He's I trust him implicitly so I don't have to think about it and I like it so that when people say I want to work your club, I'm like, "Well, you got to talk to Adam." I just perform. I might be the owner, but I just perform there. I don't I don't think about it in terms of like how the scheduling is. I often have to check the website to see who's there. I don't know who's there, you know. It's uh it might be mine, but I got a guy who does it and he does it really well. So, why would I get involved in that?

When I

It's easier to not

When I had um when I had the club in Houston, I couldn't be funny in the club at all.

Why not?

Cuz I was actively working the club.

So, I'm on stage and I'm worried about

Oh, I see.

So many other things, right? you know, going on like, "Yo, did you just drop a glass on the ground?" [laughter]

Like, I'm I'm it it I didn't have enough help. So,

you got to get the right help. I got very fortunate in that a lot of the people that I took to Austin, they were from the Comedy Store and they were out of work. So, the comedy store closed because the [ __ ] stupid government of LA, they wouldn't even allow them to do outside shows. Wouldn't you couldn't do an outside show in the parking lot of the comedy store. They wouldn't allow it. It's so stupid. They were closed for like a good solid year and a half. They couldn't support paying all these people. So, they had to get rid of them. And I moved here and at it's the same time. It just by chance. It happened at the same time. And so, they were all out of work. And I said, "Hey, let's get the band back together again. Let's let's do you guys want to move to Austin?" So, I paid for everybody to come out here and I paid for them. I gave them a full salary with everything for like a year and a half or so, maybe even more, maybe two years before anybody had to go to work because the club wasn't open. So, I was like, I want to give you a job like so you could settle in, get used to Austin. You're going to get paid like you get paid like you're working, but you don't have to work.

But I love you. I know you and you know, come here.

Very admirable with with the store. I just performed at the store um main room for um TDE. They had a a thing before BET Award, so I popped in. And the the comedy store has a certain politics to it that you know, I like the other one a little more even though all they serve is pop

improv.

No, the the other comedy store.

Oh, La Hoya.

Yeah. Laoya is the [ __ ]

that place is the [ __ ] What a club. They just don't have food.

No,

you pop popcorn drinks.

I don't believe in food in comedy clubs either.

Yeah. So,

but it's just a different environment. La Hoya is like very nice, beautiful place. That club is awesome.

I I love performing there. And with the store in LA, it's like you get there and it's very it seems very, you know, segregated.

This is now

to to me that's when I

How long ago was this? I just performed um what last week, last Wednesday.

That's um

that's sad to hear because it wasn't like that before.

It seemed like the main room and the the room around the corner and the belly all these rooms are different spaces and that's to me and I may just it may just be that feel because I'm not there a lot, you know, but when I come when before I came that time but the management walked up was very pleasant.

What do you mean by different [clears throat] spaces? But obviously the different rooms, but I mean they

What do you mean?

It seemed like the main room is different from the room around the corner.

Well, it is different. But what do you mean by feels different?

It feel It feels a little different.

Well, I mean just by its design, it's a big showroom. It's It's brighter. The ceilings are taller. And then you get into the original room, which is just tight and perfect.

The original room is like that's where you find out what's real. You know, I've seen a lot of people have rough sets. They were real real confident going into that room. That room is a truth serum.

I like a tight room like that.

Well, then then there's the belly room. The belly room is the ultimate truth serum. The trying out new jokes in the belly room is the place cuz you know it only seats 70 people.

You can't you can't [ __ ] those people. They're

that's the that's the the creme de creme to me is a tight small room.

The belly room is I came from such a good room.

I came from small audiences.

They're the best. It's the best for finding out if jokes are real. There's nothing like a small crowd. Like in our club, we have the little boy. The little We have our our rooms are named after the bombs they dropped on to on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

And uh Little Boy is only 110 seats. It's a super low ceiling.

This is when you know it's it's those times in in comedy when you knew that that's what you actually love to do. And I remember I was in San Antonio at this this place called Santa's. Um he he literally owned the whole strip, the club, the washer, the corner store, everything. The guy named Santa. I didn't know that he owned it, but it was like a rainstorm or something. It got the show got rained out. And it is literally three people in this room. It's two ladies and it's Santa. And I don't I don't know that this is him at the time. And we had to go on to get paid. The promoter was like, "I'm not paying nobody who don't go on. We still doing the show." I'm like, "Okay." So, and this is a $100. He's getting paid $100. And he was like, "Who who going up?" I'm like, "I'm definitely going up." And I'm going up first.

Like, I don't I don't care. I did like an hour and 30 minutes [laughter] for three people. And I was like because I kept looking like anybody else going over there. He was like no we good. I'm like I and Santa I remember he he finally revealed that he was the owner of the club and he was like well let me take you to the back. He took me to the back and he gave me like $700. He was saying for performing he say yeah man you you wasn't scared and me and my friends had a good time and it was like three people. It was literally this dude named Vance put the show on. It was like three advance tell anybody the story so he was like this is when I knew Ali was different when he went out three people he went first and he's like an hour and 30 and he was like and it didn't look like he was coming down I'm like yo bro I'm I'm I'm here this is what I do I don't and I need that $100 so [laughter] so that's definitely some extra motivation

crazy that no one else wanted to go up

they was like no and another time I was at WY um it was a WY college and Marcus was performing and the mic went out and it's like all these people in this in this auditorium, the same place they shot um Denzel shot the movie The Great Debate. So we in we in this auditorium and the sound goes out and they start ribbing Marcus and I and I was in the back. I was like what's going on? And he's like the sound went out and I walked out. I was like what what's happening? And I said, "Hold on, Marcus. Let me let me let me ask him something. Wait a minute. I know damn well y'all not in there trying to get somebody a problem because y'all got us in. We didn't bring this sound system. Got us in fair east side high performance broken clock and and so I said, "Listen, Marcus sat down in the back." I said, "Yo, this is what we going to do.

I'mma talk. Y'all going to laugh. Then I'mma talk some more. But y'all can't be laughing all along because we don't have no sound. I'm not supposed to use my real voice in this." So I'm at like 45 and then I look back at Mark. I say, "Hey man, you want to come back up?" Mark was like, "No." Like you you got it like a like an hour and 20. He's like, "Yo, Ali's nuts." I'm like, "No, this is what I do and I'mma figure it out." We did a show at the improv once in Hollywood and um the power went out and they were going to cancel the show and we were sitting there talking and I said why don't can we light the stage somehow and they said yeah we can get a um emergency light attached to like a generator and we could put a you know put the run the wires through the crowd and put a emergency light on the stage.

I go that's that. We'll do that and then we'll just do stand up with no mic. And we did the whole show with no mic. It was the opening, middle, and then me. I did a full hour. It was amazing. Everybody had a great [ __ ] time. It felt special. It felt very unusual.

You got to see what it's like like when you don't have a microphone and you're you're projecting to the back of the room. Changed my pacing on things,

but it was great. It was It felt cool. It felt like you were doing something and the audience was into it. I go, "Look, we're going to have fun, right? Like, [ __ ] it. Who cares? This is gonna be this is never gonna happen again probably ever.

I've never I've been doing comedy 30 something years. I've never had that happen where I did a show with no microphone except that one.

So this is the thing. These are the experiences that as a comic going through the trenches that some comics never have,

Because they didn't come up that way. And you have a different set of chops when you come up a certain type of way. I've come up and just joking had to be the craziest place cuz some some nights you'll come in there it's like nine people but these nine people are into comedy and Alice would be like we got to do the show like it's not a

it's we we don't have a limit. We got to do these people that's here cuz what the thing is that whole idea that the show must go on regardless regardless too. Well, I learned that from Paul Mooney, too. And one of the things that I [laughter] I did a show at the comedy store. It's like the first time that Mooney ever complimented me and that I I was always scared of him cuz like Mooney didn't like you was terrifying because he was a legend. He was a legend. Wrote for Richard Prior and it was like the way he carried himself like he didn't like you like and I was 27, you know, I was young and stupid and uh I I went up because I would always go up last or late. I had late spots and uh there was like 15 people in the room, but I did my act and I heard in the back of the room, he was laughing, having fun, and then he grabbed me afterwards.

He goes, "You're a real [ __ ] comic." He goes, "That's what a real comic does." He goes, "All these other [ __ ] they went up there and they did, oh, where you from, [ __ ] I know where I'm from. Tell me some [ __ ] jokes. Do your [ __ ] act. And that's what you did." And I was like, "Wow, Paul Mooney likes me." Me and Paul had a different type of relationship. [laughter]

Did you and Paul not get along?

Um, it one I have to always say I love I love Paul until I met him. [laughter]

It's like Paul was on some [ __ ] when he when I met Paul, man. I was at the improv and I was featuring for him and the improv had got me to feature for him and I was like cool I'm excited I get to meet one of my idols in this game one of the people who changed the course of my pacing cuz it my my lineage just sitting down I passed through Paul so it's when I first started I was a crazy man I was all over the place thought that you had to have this all this energy and Then this guy named Dez White walked into the club one night. I was there and Dez stood in the same exact place all day. He never took the mic out the stand, put his drink down the stool and Dez just stood there and he was destroying this room. Never took the mic out the stand. And people and he always people say, "Dez, Dez, why you don't take the mic out the stand?" And he's like, "Because there's a stand. [laughter] Let it let it hold the mic." So,

uh, some of my favorite comics don't take the mic out of stand. Ron White. Yeah.

Ron White just stands there with a drink on a stool, sometimes with cigar, just killing with the microphone in the stand.

Oh, man.

Joey Diaz.

Joey Diaz keeps the [ __ ] mic in the stand and he makes me laugh harder than any [ __ ] human being that's ever lived.

That So, I'm going to go to I'm finish Paul and I'm going to go to Ron. So what did he do though?

So I'm in um the green room and at the old Improv where they had a downstairs you would come through the it used to be a rainforest cafe. Yeah. So it was spellbinding at first and then it changed. So

I'm sitting in the green room and like it's a main part then it's a smaller part.

He walked into the small part and said, "Hey, go count the room." And I'm like, "What?" Yeah, come count the room. I was like, I don't I don't work here like that. I don't count the room. And he was like, yeah, all right. Then he walked out and then he came back like maybe 25 minutes later. Yeah. Tell you and your little white friend that it's packed out there and I want my bonus. What? Like what white friend? What are you What are you talking about? Raymond Cook is the manager of the club at the time. He was talking about Raymond and I was like, "Yo, Paul, I don't count the room. I'm I'm the feature. Why would I be counting the [ __ ] room?" Like, and then he says something else negative to me and I'm like, "Yo, pal, if you say something else to me, I'mma kick your ass, pal." [laughter] Like, what the what is wrong with you? So, I called DL. I'm like, "Yo, I'm about to [ __ ] beat up Paul Mooney." He's like, "You can't beat up Paul Mooney. He's a legend." And I'm like, even if you beat him up, you're still not going to win. It's like it's going to be a loss.

So I'm like, yo. So then another time. Oh. And then later on that that same weekend, he had this lady with him and she was sitting at the top and I was sitting up there and she got up and she left her purse. So I didn't want to leave and leave the lady's purse there. So I grabbed the strap and I got the purse like this. I came in. I'm like, "Hey ma'am, you love your purse." And Paul turned on like, "What are you doing with her purse?" I said, "She left it." And I then only thing in my head is DL. You cannot beat up Paul Moon. So I just walked out. I'm like, I'mma [ __ ] Paul up. What year was this?

This is like three years before he died. And And this was the this is this is the old improv.

This is what I had heard. Um, just for clarity, he was struggling in the last years of his life. So you probably didn't get the best version of Paul Mooney.

So then we we here in Austin, we performing at the the um the theater that's right next to the Paramount. It's another theater that's connected to the Paramount. The Black Heritage, the Black Art something have booked both of us not knowing that we we at odds.

So I'm in my green room and the lady comes, hey um she very nice. Hey Ali, Paul Mooney's next door. you know what I'm saying? And you like to meet him next. And I was like, "No, I'm cool." And then she goes, "Paul Ali's next door. You know, I don't know if y'all want to meet each other." And Paul was like, "No, I'm cool." And I went up. I'm in my green room and the host is on stage and Paul was getting ready to go up and this was his apology. He walked by the room and came back like on um Purple Rain came back and leaned in the room, hi Ali. And then [laughter] I mean Paul's [ __ ] nuts, man. And

yeah, but he that's you gotta take that. He you know there's certain people just eccentric. That's Paul. I mean I wouldn't have counted the [ __ ] room either. I would have been like that's not my job.

But Ron White, I was in Orlando. manager Orlando called me say, "Hey, Ali, um I know you have a I know you have a um a feature, but um Ron White would like to um you know, feature for you." And I was like, "I don't I don't know um no person named Ron White." And she was like, "You don't know Ron White?" I'm like, "Wait a minute." Like Ron White, Ron White. I thought it was like some other guy who's using his name or something like his name happens to be Ron White, too. like Ron White. Ron White. He's like, "Yeah." I said, "He want he want a feature for who?" He said, "You." He called and asked. I was like, "The fuck." I said, "Hell yeah." So, I called Marcus. I'm like, "Yo, Marcus, you going to go up and then you going to bring up Ron White." When was this? This was like maybe four years ago.

That's crazy. And Ron shows up in this huge tour bus. [laughter] Like I'm I'm walking to the club and I'm like, "Who bus is this?" Then I'm like, "Oh [ __ ] this Ron's bus got tequila brand on it and all that." And he's in his bus. He's not even in the green room. Then he then I get knock on the door and his his his manager. He's like, "Hey, Ron would like to know. Can he come in the green room?" I was like, "Ron, why? Yeah, you can come in the crank room." So, he comes in. He's like, "Yo, man. I just want to I love what you do. I just want to do some time." And Ron went up there and was destroying this room. And I couldn't wait to get up cuz I wanted to just talk about [ __ ] Ron White just pizza for me. And [laughter] I'm I destroy this room. And Ron, he sat out and watched. He was like, "You're [ __ ] amazing." I'm like in my mind is I'm still in awe that Ron White

wanted to [ __ ]

wanted to work with you.

Like I was like that [ __ ] was crazy to me.

That's so cool. Well, he you know when he's working on new stuff that's what he likes to do. He likes to go around and does a lot of sets. He's constantly active. He's at the club tonight. We're working tonight. He's one of the main reasons I moved here. Ron moved here before the pandemic. So I called him up in like 2018. loved having him at the store. So, he started coming to the store around 2014ish, something like that. And oh my god, we had so much fun for years and years. And he had a beautiful place up in Beverly Hills. And then he just got sick because he's always traveling. He just got sick of the long flights and the traffic. And I called him up. I go, "Why'd you move to Texas?" He goes, "Austin's amazing. The food's [ __ ] great. Everyone's nice. It's in the middle of the country.

If I want to fly to Florida, it's quick. if I want to fly to I'm like, "God damn it. Can I live in Texas?" And then the [ __ ] hit the fan with COVID and I was like, "I got to get the [ __ ] out of California. This place sucks. They're telling me what to do. I This is not what I signed up for. You tell me I can work. You tell me I have to wear a mask. [ __ ] you. I'm getting out of here." And when I came to Austin, it was like one of the main reasons why I was willing to move here. I'm like, "If we never do comedy again, at least I can hang out with Ron."

That's that's amazing.

Yeah. And then everybody else came. And then once I mean, so everybody says that I got everybody to move here. Sort of. I got a lot of people to move here, but Ron got me to move here. That's the most important thing. Like, Ron got me to move here. And then I realized how nice people are here and how disconnected they are from show business. And I was like, "Oh, this is so refreshing. Everyone's just normal. My neighbors a normal guy. Everyone's normal. They're regular people. Just people living their lives, having a good time, you know? It's like,

and for me, you know, cuz I love hunting. There's Everyone hunts out here." Yeah.

It's it's it's like a normal pastime. I tell people I bow hunt in California.

Texas is Texas we have been a gym for a long time and we just let we let other people feel like they the upper echelon. We like okay

Texas ruled forever. I mean [laughter] you got to think Kenisonson and Hicks, two of the greatest of all time came out of Houston.

Yep.

And when I was coming here all the time I knew it, right? So, one of the things that was good about doing comedy is a lot of people that moved during the pandemic just wanted to get out of California, but they had no idea what the rest of the world was going to be like. They had never been to Nashville. They never never been to Austin. I had been here a couple dozen times. I knew I loved it.

So, I was like, "Look, I this will be all right. Like, I'll be fine." Like, it looks like I'm never doing comedy again. I was I was like, "It looks like comedyy's done. It looks like the they're going to [ __ ] make us just stay indoors, especially in like blue cities." Like, this is crazy. You have to have a vax card to eat at a restaurant in New York City. I'm like, this is [ __ ] bananas. None of this [ __ ] makes any sense.

I remember you guys came, mothership was coming,

then next thing I know, Creek in the Cave was here.

Creek in the Cave was here first.

Yeah, you saying I'm saying how I heard about it. I'm like, "Oh, they like Creek in the Cave." I'm like, "Damn, okay, Creek in the Cave is coming from New York and then Mothership is here." And then, but they had brooms, you know. The main thing was um what was the room that that was um so hard to get in at first? Um it was the Austin Comedy Club. Damn, I forget the name of it.

Vita room.

No, no, it was the actual comedy club.

Cap City.

Um Cap City.

That place was always packed.

Yeah. You know,

I almost bought that place.

Yeah, I heard that.

Yeah. I almost bought that whole mall, but the guy the guy who was trying to sell it to me wanted way more than it was worth. And then he got roped up in some FBI investigation. I I was told

while it was going on that he was being investigated and I was like, "Oh, okay." And then he wound up getting arrested. And but that building was for sale. The whole thing was for sale. And I went in there. I thought about how many shows I'd been there, how many shows I'd seen there, how many shows I'd performed there over the I'm like, I could own this place? Oh my god. Cap City was the first place um that I did on the road with um DL.

That was a great club,

you know.

[ __ ] great club. Perfect club. That place was amazing. Such a fun place to

I think that people don't didn't realize how the rich history of Houston, Dallas, Austin,

Laugh,

San Antonio.

LA, bro. Lavtop in Houston in River Oaks. One of the greatest clubs of all time. Somebody told me that that building still exists like that. That it's still set up like that. That there's nothing in it. Is that true?

There's nothing in it, though.

But it's still the same room.

Man, we might have to do a Mothership Houston.

Yeah, that's uh Yeah.

See, if there's another city that could support like a large group of talented upandcomers, Houston's one of them.

Yeah. So, you know, we have um Secret Group there. We have um

they had the other cap city that was upstairs. Remember they opened up the second one. They closed that one and they opened up another.

You're talking about laugh the cap city. Cap City had another

Oh, no. I'm sorry. Laugh stop. Laugh. That was the laugh spot.

Oh, they No, no, no. They had that already. That already existed.

No, the the laugh spot had went upstairs at on. They had moved.

I thought that was a the laugh stop.

I thought it was the same group that No, it was the same group that owned the Laugh Stop in River Oaks.

The Laugh Spot was another place. I knew that because when I was working at the Laugh Stop, Ralphie May was working at the Laugh Spot and we we got together and we're hanging out and eat dinner.

But that was that was that was the old spot. Then there was the other laugh stop that they put upstairs. It was a new but it didn't last. It was only for a couple years.

Yeah. I didn't go to I didn't go to that. It was a good spot and then it went under.

Yeah. Ari Shafir did it with a Hitler mustache once.

He [clears throat] uh trimmed his mustache to look like Adolf Hitler.

Ari is Ari is is by far the craziest person that I know. Like I thought my uncle M was the craziest person [clears throat] and then I met and then I met Ari. I'm like

this is the craziest person that I know.

Yeah. He's awesome.

Yeah. And and [laughter]

he just moved to England. I'm like, "Brother, going to stab you." He moved to England. They will [ __ ] stab you. They stab people there. Don't Don't get stabbed.

Ari is nuts, but he's such a cool dude. But he's [ __ ] nuts. I I I said I went to go see him um at the Creek in the Cave when he um was getting ready to film his special. And I I like, yo, Ari is so Ari is so crazy. If you just if people took time just just go through the diff the many looks of Ari Shafir on internet. The one that killed me was the half. [laughter] He was just bald on one side then on other I was like yo is he doing two face like [laughter]

he is insane.

He did two face for Batman.

Yeah. [snorts] He's out of his mind. But but that's really who he is you know. He's not trying.

Yeah. He's not trying. He's not trying.

That's what he is. He's out of his mind. He's [ __ ] a maniac. [laughter] Complete maniac.

When he tore up Bert, when I heard about him tearing up Bert's check with like $25,000, he's like, "Yo, I just made $25,000." He just tore the check up like they'll write you another one. I'm [laughter] like, like, are you insane? like he is he's the craziest person. But

he's fun.

I've had some great conversations on the phone with him and he's just

and I I was

very [ __ ] smart dude. I was very honored when he called me to do the um his last the endless

and know I was like

that's cool to say because that that's where I that's a pivoting point a major point in my career when I did um

it's not happening.

Yeah. That was a great show, man. It was a great idea. I remember when he started doing it. He started doing it at the lab at the improv. So you remember the lab?

Another little room. Cool little room. Um, they should have never got rid of that room. They they changed that place and they [ __ ] it up in my opinion. That's the room the the main room's still awesome, but the lab used to be in the back and it was like there wasn't a big bar there.

I think it's still there. Yeah, Dion Cole when last time I was there, Dion Cole was there,

but it's different. It's not It's not the same setup. It used to be you went through a door and it was like another small room and in that small room it was separated from the front door. They moved the front door and now everybody went in through the parking lot, right? And so they went into the lab through the parking lot. So the the front door was back there that now and when you would open it, it was all this noise from the street and they had a curtain to block off the noise and you'd hear people talk. They were like right next to your stage where they were buying tickets. It was annoying. And then there was the bar which was right there. It's still a cool little small room once everybody settles in,

but the original setup was way better. And Ari started doing it there. I was like, "What are you doing?" And he's like, "I'm going to do a storyteller show." I was like, "What the [ __ ] is that?" [laughter] That's what I thought. I was like, "Why? Why are you doing that?" And then he said, "Well, it really helps you without like having to have like punchlines and setups and have everything really tight. You could find the beats in a story." And I was like, "Oh, well, actually, that's brilliant. That's pretty [ __ ] smart. It's a a good alternative sort of way to to develop bits. you know, you you develop bits by working it out, but into a more loose format of telling a story.

And and I didn't even know that that's that was the the premise behind it. Because when I got it, um it was like you go on and you tell a true story. And I was like, "Okay, cool. That's my that's my thing,

right?"

You know, and I had um just won Comedy Central's Comic to Watch in like 2013. So, you get a package, you get a album, you get a half hour, and you get a chance to go on one of the shows that's already on um Comedy Central. So, they was pitching me the Adam Divine show and I was like, I don't like it. And it was another show. I was like, no, I'm cool. So, every show that they would say that they wanted me to go on, I was like, no, that really ain't my thing. So then Chase Duso, young comic, called me and said, "Hey, listen. You might want to go on this is not happening." I was like, "What's that?" He say, "Is a show start on the internet? You know, you I went on I I watched both I think both seasons of it on the internet and I was like, "Yo, this is the this is the one." So I called Annne Harris that that come I say this is a show that I want to do and Ari didn't know me.

Ari is like I don't know him but Eric Abrams is one of the co-creators of the show. He's like I know him so he's pretty good. You should bring him on. And Ari was already telling anybody he's like I didn't know what he was gonna do but all I know it was a true all you had to do is tell a true story and I was like perfect. Eric thought that I was gonna do the story that I did on the second time that I was on. But I and I was like when I got there I was listening to people's stories and I was like no I'mma do a lighter story cuz this second story is Mitchell. It's like when I was going to kill this co and I was like no I should do a lighter one. And then I did the prison ride which is affectionately known as Mexican Got on Boots and R is like the best [ __ ] story I ever heard. I'm like me telling the story about a riot, a prison riot [laughter] like you know and I telling what happened and I only did like 16 minutes of what happened.

That that was a whole that was a whole ordeal. Like it wasn't a 16minute riot. It was like nine hours. Like the whole thing is like nine. I only told the beginning part of it which was you know pretty cool.

You know what happened Ari lost the show right? Yeah.

And so that so when the show came back, it was with Roy Woods, they called me to do it and the loyal spirit in me. I called Ari. I was like, "Hey, they want me to do this show. I'm really not [ __ ] with it." And he's like, "No, no, do it." I was like, "What?" He's like, "I heard about all the stuff." He's like, "Man, do it. Eric Eric is still shooting it." You know what I'm saying? So, you should do it. He goes, "We wanted you to be the host, but they didn't they didn't want you to do it." You know, they got Roy, which is cool.

I don't think they wanted anybody affiliated with Ari to do it.

they were punishing Ari.

So, when they

We should tell people why. So, for people that don't know, um they Ari got a deal. he got an offer to do a Netflix special and he wanted to do it and um they wanted him to do the special on Comedy Central and he said, "Well, I don't have to. It's not in my contract." They said, "Well, if you don't do it, we're going to cancel your show." And he was like, "Wow."

I can't believe you would do that.

And that ain't what you tell Ari.

Nope. No. So, we were trying to figure it out. I offered to host it for free. I said, "I will come in and host it." I'd already done it. So, I'll come in. I'll host it for no money. I go because he wanted to make sure that everybody was paid. He was going to take out a loan and Ari was going to pay all the grips, all the camera people because they, you know, these people, they chart out their year. They're like, "Oh, I'm doing this is not happening for the next six weeks and then I'm doing this for five weeks and I'm that's their year and that's how they budget their life." And Ari decided that he was going to take out a loan to pay everybody. So, and I'm like, "Wow." I go, "Listen, man. You go tell Comedy Central that I'll host it for free." They weren't interested. They weren't interested in anybody affiliated with him. He tried to He offered up a bunch of other comics. Yep.

They weren't interested.

So, I was in that group of the the bunch cuz I know it was you, it was Joey, it was me, Bert,

and they just got me to do it. Once Ari told me he was cool, he's like, "Man, do it."

Yeah. Ari would never try to stop anybody from working. So what I what I went on and and did in my protest of you know you didn't want Ari. So what I did was told a story about Ari. [laughter] I just told her like okay cool like my story is mushroom story which is an Ari. I was like second and I thought I was yo second season I did this show Ari gave me uh mushrooms [laughter] and and I went through the whole thing of what happened when AR gave me the mushroom. I ate the mushrooms. I didn't know that they were mushrooms. Mushrooms. I thought they were something else and it was like a I ate a mushrooms and it was a long day. [laughter]

Rude thing to not tell you to not eat all of them. And and I remember Janice Janice was my assistant and I remember I had to fly the next day and I'm still I'm still gone. I'm out of my [ __ ] So I get to the airport and I call Janice. I said, "Janice, people are going through this machine and then I'm not seeing them anymore and it's like he's nuts. He's going like and Janice said they they probably going to various places. I was like but I don't want to go to various I want to go to Houston. [laughter] So then when I get up to the TSA I said hey I'm seeing a lot of people go through this machine and then I'm not seeing them anymore. Where are they going? The man said man various places. And I got out the line. I called Jan. I said you are right. They are going to various [laughter] Dan's like, he's nuts.

Like he's losing it. I'm like, yo, I was so toasted and just getting on the plane with still full of mushrooms. It was I just I wanted to just close my eyes, but the [ __ ] just wasn't working. It was like I was out of it. I never It's mushrooms is a crazy thing. It's a crazy thing. And that same week, um, cuz I was there for a couple day, Joy Diaz gave me a black star. [laughter] And I remember calling somebody, they was like, "Yo, don't you eat that shit." He say, "If you want to lose it, don't you?" So, this episode of I'm on Joy Diaz. This is back when I was smoking. I had took a edible with the um the Flying Jew. And me and him, [laughter] it's like you literally see us. I was fine at first and then you Joy is the only person that's in this studio that's that's still together and you just slowly see us just melting.

We both and then I know I I was speaking very good English at one point then I was and it was like yeah Joy was like no I understand [laughter] like I don't understand

the church of what's happening now had some of the greatest overdose on weed moments ever in the history of the internet just Lee just seeing Lee Sai just melting he can't keep his eyes open he's he's just melting in his chair

then yo it's Like at first I was like, "Yo, he's tripping." Then all of a sudden I'm like, "This is not happening to me either." Like it was crazy.

Joey Diaz doesn't give a [ __ ]

And then

because I want to see the devil.

The other side of that story, it was another comic with me named Billy Sur. He had taken some edibles, but he ain't on the show. So he's outside. And he didn't just melt it out [laughter] like he just sitting on the ground outside the studio like yo those black stars are 500 mg.

Yo I that was Yeah.

I saw Joe eat two of those once.

He just chucked down two of them. I'm like that is so crazy. That's so much it

you know Jamie doesn't feel it. Edibles don't work on him.

What? Jamie's got some weird [ __ ] biological condition. [laughter]

Throw it at me. I'll try it.

I'm not afraid.

He doesn't doesn't give a [ __ ] He's not scared of edibles at all.

I've I've done two different types of mushrooms. I didn't know that they they were is like the ones where I was really on one. That's the one that R gave me. And then there's some other ones that made me very talkative like

look at me. [laughter]

drool on his shirt,

bro. He's in another dimension right now. [laughter] He can't keep the headphones on. He doesn't know what to do. [screaming] Joey's the best. [laughter] They're back. They're doing it again.

They back.

They're back together again. Yeah.

They're doing it. Are they doing it out of New Jersey? Is that what they're doing?

It has to be.

Yeah. He's the best.

Yeah. I remember I called Moses Malone for um Joey because he's a big Moses Malone fan before Moses died. I called like you know Moses Malone. There's no [ __ ] way you know Moses. I'm like yeah no [ __ ] Moses. And then Moses was Moses was nuts too. Like Moses Malone was a [ __ ] nut.

Have you heard about these new mushrooms that make you see little tiny people?

Oh no. No I haven't. the talkative ones were like I I called a lot of people on my phone and and everybody's same report was you know you call me like three in the morning talking about you want to talk to me about my life I'm like

and

which ones are those what what did you take it's not psilocybin it's something different

yeah it's something different it made me very tough cuz delay I told delay about them

what that would be

comic name delay I told him about him because he I called him and I talked to him for like hours just about. So then he end up taking the same mushrooms. He called me and I knew what it was. I was like, "Go ahead, just talk." [laughter] He was talking his ass off. I had put the phone down and went to sleep. I woke up. [laughter] He was still talking. I was like, "Yo, this [ __ ] is crazy."

What is it?

I don't Man, I got to

Jamie, put that into perplexity.

I got to call

Put that into our AI sponsor and find out what mushrooms make you talkative. Yeah, I know who gave them to me. So, I called her and asked, "Hey, what is them shrooms that you gave me?" Cuz she went and bought them and like I was a [ __ ] talk of this mess.

I don't know what that is. I've never heard of that before. Most of the time when people take shrooms, they can't talk. It's like,

"No, I was I was on one."

That's crazy. I wonder what that is.

Cuz the ones that Ari gave me,

it just says it's your mushrooms just in general.

Huh.

Some people's response to it.

Yeah, but he he it seems that there's different responses to different ones.

I know. you're saying on the screen says what I just said.

Huh. I don't think there's enough research for perplexity to have a educated answer. [laughter] Right. How much research are they doing out there? [clears throat] Uh talkative social on magic mushrooms, but there's no specific mushroom reliably proven to make you talkative. All right. Ask if there's a a mushroom that makes you see little people.

Yeah, that's different.

I know this.

I know, but I want to see what Plexity has to say about it.

What does perplexity say? Ask it about is there a mushroom that makes you see little people? Let's see if it really is up on its psychedelic science. [laughter]

It's just going to repeat the articles I just pulled.

I I want to see what it says though. That's it's just a question to see how it handles this. Yes. A specific edible mushroom called Lan Moa uh aciatica has been reported to cause very vivid hallucinations. You say hallucinations. Maybe they're really little people right there of little people when it's undercooked. A phenomena known as lilipian hallucinations. See, but the thing is how do you know it's a hallucination? Maybe you just now can see these things that people have been writing about for eons. How how ignorant are people and how arrogant are we that we know everything that's going on all around us all the time?

We don't.

People have always thought gremlins are real and gnomes were real

and fairies

studying that since the 60s.

Of course they have been. I'm studying it right now. [laughter] Let's study [snorts] Let's go study mushrooms,

Yeah, they've been studying it. But like the the the real problem is there's got to be a bunch of I know for sure there's other strains that are much more potent because I know a guy who is a mushroom guy. He's like deep in the world of mushrooms. And he was explaining to me there's one that's like 10x stronger. And there's one there's new ones that they found. I think they found a new one. I want to say in China they found a new hallucinogenic mushroom. But this one this liapuchian one is weird cuz it's not psilocybin.

This when it's cooked this has something to do with cooking it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Normally you're supposed to eat them raw.

No, it's um that I think this might be the Chinese one because I I think it's a Is it?

Yeah. Okay. So, this is I I I conflated the two. So, they eat it. If you cook it and you do a real good job cooking it, you don't trip.

But apparently some people have not cooked it and eaten it and go, "Oh, wait a minute. What are we cooking out of this?" when you're you might be cooking out whatever the mushroom is giving you to let you see the spirit world or see the fairy world or the gnome world or whatever it is restaurant you can get it in restaurants

let's go I'd be like hey hey

undercook my [laughter]

just just put it on some salad dressing that [ __ ] out let's go

I I don't have a I unfortunately I don't have a problem with mushrooms I I think that and I just like being

unfortunately what do you mean

cuz you know some people like you shouldn't be on them But I I don't have a problem with mushrooms and especially if I'm in a in a safe environment.

But being at the lows on mushrooms,

that's [laughter] not

that's not that's not the best place to be. Like

also trying to fight it. If you fight it, you're [ __ ] If you if you if you start going and you start, no, I don't like this. Like uhoh,

it's going to get dark on you.

It's going like I've had wrestle with it. I've had them in chocolate, like a little chocolate squares, and it's been it's been a time. I I don't It's been a time, but

sometimes it can get rough

to see little people. I definitely want to be somewhere who I don't I just need to be somewhere safe. Brian Simpson has a hilarious story about he someone gave him a mushroom chocolate bar and he put it in his freezer and forgot forgot that it was a mushroom bar and then just ate the whole thing

and just went to Pluto. [laughter]

He's like Dr. Manhattan sitting on Mars in a [ __ ] lotus position.

This one's kind of strange. It says, "Doesn't matter who you are or what you do, you're going to have the same experience as everybody else who's done

Okay. At that point in time, when do we start to say maybe there's something in this substance, this compound, this molecule that lets you interact with something that's real that's around you? If it's repeatable over and over and over again, if all these people see the same thing over and over and over again, and people have been writing about it since the beginning of time, they've been writing about elves and fairies and gnomes and magic people in the woods.

What do you think they were doing? They were probably eating these [ __ ] mushrooms. So, this is show that I watch that I still don't know what this show is about, but I've watched I'm on season number four, and I have no idea what show is it. It's called From.

Ah, I've been watching it. I love that show. I'm in the middle of season 4 right now.

And so, you know, he's taking mushroom.

The one guy did. Yeah. Well, you spoiler alert. No, but you know, you know already.

Big spoiler. I know, but the people that are listening don't know. Yeah. Don't. It's still going to be fantastic.

Don't [ __ ] this up. It's good.

No, it's on MG.

No, they're moving on. They move it. One of these new shows that's been talked about is getting moved.

No, no, no. That's still on Paramount.

Yeah. [ __ ]

I think it's MGM. I think it's MGM.

Yo,

great [ __ ] show.

Very original.

I still people

drama is officially on Netflix. There it is.

And I'm saying

Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Maybe it's on Netflix as well. Yeah, that's that's [clears throat] all I was saying.

Oh, that's what it is.

It came on It debuted on Epics and then

But you watched all these season Good show, but you have no idea what

there's no rules.

It's and and so I I I I called my um director. I said, "Hey, I want to make a show that is about whatever we doing." And he was like, "Well, give me an example." I say watch from like I've watched all I I cannot tell you what this show is about. [laughter] It's like like I just noticed people for people that don't know that want to watch it. It's the people are trapped in this town. They all the same circumstance. There's a down tree in the road. They can't go further. So they back they turn around and they find themselves in a loop that keeps leading them through this town over and over and over and over again. And no one in the town can escape. And at night time, monsters come out and they look like people. They look like a mailman. They look very normal.

Scary ass milkman.

Oh, the whole [laughter] scary.

That milkman is insane.

Yeah, that that old lady the old lady that knocks in the window.

Terrifying.

It's a terrifying show. It's It gives me anxiety and I know it's all fake.

It's It's like It's a crazy [snorts] show.

And season 4 is even more bizarre.

Yeah. like everything that I be thinking I was like yo I think this is what it is and then it don't it doesn't be that but then it come and like see and like but I'm like see what like what what am I like I don't know the freak this show is going [laughter]

they don't know no one knows where it's going but it's like lost the same people that made Lost made that show

word that's why it has that same sort of feel like crazy doesn't make no you can't predict what's going to happen nothing makes sense and very entertaining.

Lloyd tickles the [ __ ] out of me. Lloyd is mad about every goddamn thing like but it's so it's a crazy it's crazy but it's very interesting. Like I I don't miss it.

I love it. Yeah. I've been um binging it. So I started I guess me and my wife started about

a month ago or so and we burned through the first three seasons and now we're into the fourth.

Yeah. It's good. And I think the next season's coming out in 2027, but I don't really how they I think the next season's the last season unless they decide to keep it going.

Finale.

It's the finale.

They just announced that it's going to be the last season.

And

maybe maybe when that money comes rolling. But the thing about this kind of show is you could do whatever you want. Like you go back in time, you could do wild [ __ ] Like I don't want to give anything away, but there's no rules.

There's you can make anything happen.

You can make anything happen. It's a very strange show, but it's very entertaining.

It's Oh, man. It's a very entertaining

Yeah. But if you want to just sit at home and watch [ __ ] and not do anything, man, you never picked a better time to be alive. You could waste your whole life just staring at a screen.

Yeah. Like when when I ask people because I my my pallet for what I take in is different than a lot of people. you and I turn people on to a show like when I turned my boy on the Pinky Blinders. I was like, "Yo,

Pinky Blinders is a great show."

I was like, "Yo, you got to watch Pinky." He called me and was like, "Yo, this is a crazy show." And and I remember my boy Delay got so invested in um what was the first show, the motorcycle show that I turned him on to. Um

I know what you're talking about. I never watched it. What is that show? That motorcycle show that everybody liked.

You know what I'm talking about, Jamie.

That's it. Sons of Anarchy. I turned him on to Sons of Anarchy and it's a person on there that you kind of get invested in. And I remember he called me and said something about him and I was like, "Yo, who? Like who? What? What' you say?" And I'm I'm putting on my shoes. And then I noticed are you talking about the person on the on Sunday? He said, "Yeah, that's [ __ ] up what they did." [laughter] I was like, "Yo, you you're a crazy man." He's like, "No, I'm so invested." And like [laughter] I was like, "Yo, man, you a wild person." But you know, Sons of Anarchy, Pinky Blinders, like I was big on Yellowstone and now the two spin-offs of Yellowstone, Marshalls and the Dutton Ranch. I I can't not watch it. Like [ __ ] is it it's it's some good shows out there. And I I just can't watch the typical stuff.

If I got to watch something that has a little more to it than what normal people would watch cuz I like to see normal people in shows like something I can relate to that doesn't ranch you know being Texas this I don't how ranching is this is how I always experienced how ranching goes with cows and and how you keep your land and all these different fights that people have over land. I'm like, [ __ ] is [ __ ] is pretty interesting.

It's very interesting. That Taylor Sheridan's a friend of mine. The guy [clears throat] made that. He was on here the other day. Um uh talking about it. But the other show that I love is Land Man. Same kind of deal.

It's all about the oil industry. Yeah. You just realize like, oh Jesus, is this how all this works?

Yeah. It's other things happening in life and it's way more notorious people than a drug dealing show. This is man, crude oil is a business.

So it's such a big business. Of course you're going to get devious [ __ ] going

you going to get [ __ ] happening. It

has to.

The real world of oil must be nuts.

It must be nuts. I mean that's why we're in war right now.

And you you have to be ruthless.

You know with oil. Like that's a big thing. And I don't understand fake meat. Like why would people be giving somebody fake meat? Well, because they make money selling fake meat as far as

I [clears throat] mean that's that's uh what a lot of people were trying to push while they're saying that cows are bad. Cows the methane the environment man it's [ __ ] All all they're doing is trying to someone is pushing this idea that we need to stop eating meat because they're profiting off of us not not eating meat. That's what it is. It's all it is. It's not bad for you. It's good for you. You need it. It's protein. It's super healthy. One of the best foods in the world for you. There's just a bunch of horseshit out there saying that we need to eat less meat for the environment. No, we need to figure out how to not pollute. That's for sure. But regenerative farms aren't polluting. You're full of [ __ ] It's not true. You know, if you want to say we need to stop doing factory farming, okay, maybe. Yeah, that's [clears throat] probably a good thing to do. But you need to figure out how to feed all these [ __ ] people. You've you've developed a system that's entirely reliant on massive amounts of animals moving through. The amount of chickens that people eat in America every day is crazy.

it's What is the amount of chickens that get consumed in America every day? Let's guess.

20 million

at least. At least I'm going to say 50 million. 50 million chickens a day. How many million chickens a day get killed?

Well, that's a different question. Oh, okay. How many do we eat? How many millions of chickens do we eat every day in America?

Cuz I know I can account for three in my house. [laughter]

22 million.

22 million chickens every day, son. That's nuts. That is a crazy amount. That's way bigger than the entire residents of Los Angeles if every person was a chicken.

Every We eat that amount in this country every day. That's crazy. In my home alone, if we roasting chicken, if we going to get a roasted chicken, we gonna get three of them cuz it's it's going to I didn't even know that I could eat a whole chicken by myself until I did it. It's like, yo, man, this is this um Muslim um grocery store, they sell them in there. It's already roasted and you get two garlic sauces with each chicken. And once you dip a piece of that chicken in that garlic sauce, it's not gonna survive. Like [laughter] it's like I've bought three of them because I know if two are going to make it home, I have to eat this one by myself. And they and they put on a piece of pita bread. It's already roasted. And it's insane that I would eat a whole chicken by myself.

Estimates suggest 24 to 26 million chickens are killed every day in the United States for meat. census.

So, if you uh don't want factory farming, you got to figure out a solution where you can get 26 million chickens a day or you convince people they need to stop eating meat.

But if if we look at like say if I'm looking at a show um Game of Thrones or House of Dragons, when I would see them sit down to eat, it was a lot of meat on that table.

Very variations of meat. It's a whole they I've never seen the king sit down. It wasn't a whole entire pig on the table, And then if you most people haven't bought a lamb and you think that a lamb is enough, it depends on what you on who's there. If you if we if it's id and it's after the fast and you put a lamb on a spew and all these Muslim families come your house that's that's not enough. You need another lamb. You need [laughter] you need two lambs like whole lambs. Like it man it's meat is delicious.

It's great for you too. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Oh and I'm and they they can but I'm not really listening. Like when somebody tell when somebody tell me about a a vegan situation, I I'll listen to you,

but none of it is going in. It's like, you know, I say something comes in one ear go out the other. It's not even going in here. It's [laughter] like it's like I've already made my decision like, okay, I I feel you, but I'm not really listening to you. I'm eating the lamb goat. I'm eating it.

Life eats life. It's just the factory farming thing is the uncomfortable part. That's the gross part. And if you just were on a ranch, it's natural. It's natural.

You want to get overtaken, just let the animals just do they thing.

And see how many see. Don't you see a I am legend taught you that. [laughter] It's like, yo, how many antlers ran through a a a place? It was a stampede. Like it's a So even like with with the thing that happens in the ocean, sardines, right? So the mass all these mass sardines come one spot then the whales come first then the sharks come and then then we still get sardines after all these this ecosystem is eaten we still get sardines. It's you're not running out of natural for if you let everything do it do its thing. You know do you know how many jellyfish it is? Somebody should start eating them. You know what I'm saying? Because that is a crazy jellyfish can mob out [laughter] like mob out

and they can kill you.

And they can kill you.

Somebody eat them. Something eats them.

You can eat them at Chinese restaurants. I've had jellyfish before.

Was it good?

I don't remember it being good.

I don't remember where I ate it, but I remember someone cooked a specific type of jellyfish and I was like, "Okay." I didn't even know you could cook that.

In Texas and Louis,

what kind of jellyfish are edible?

Find that out. in Texas and Louisiana. The amount of crawfish that we eat in 2 months is literally insane.

Imagine if they didn't imagine how many crawfish would be cuz

imagine

I know I can account for at least 50 pounds by myself. [laughter] I know I

think how many crawfish there would be if people weren't eating them.

Like when I was a kid, uh I grew up in Florida for a while. We lived in Florida in Gainesville and there was alligators there, Florida. But they were protected.

Back then the alligators were protected

like the Everglades.

Well, it wasn't the Everglades quite here. Okay, hold on. Edible jellyfish. Best known edible species in used in Asian cuisine. Oh boy. Try to say that word. Roilma escalentum. Often referred to as the Japanese edible jellyfish. That's a lot easier.

Salted in

or flame jellyfish. Yeah. So, there's a few different species of jellyfish. Anyway, my point was uh when I was a kid, uh alligators were protected and they were at this lake and you could see them and people would throw marshmallows in the water and the alligators would eat them. And then uh now there's too many. Like there's so many alligators there now. Like they they can't get rid of them. They're they're in every body of water. Everywhere you go, there's alligators.

Yeah. I I

the entire Everglades is filled with alligators. Golf courses filled with alligators. I remember when that when that um the kid got eaten

at Oh, Disney World.

Yeah. And I was like, "Yo, that's insanity." Cuz I don't trust a puddle of water in Florida.

I a puddle. It could be a puddle. I'm like, "It's alligator in there." It's like, but now what they what they remove 400 some odd alligators from Disney World.

Oh, they remove them all the time. They have to check every day.

They have to go back there and make sure that there's no alligators. It's like a huge number that they

It's a huge number.

Like that's like maybe 24 this year, 20 40 or something this year, but it's 400 and something overall. Like that's insane.

You know, Disney World has a bass fishing lake. You can go bass fishing at Disney World. There's like a little trip that you take. You go there. 414 alligators removed from Disney World since toddler's death 10 years ago. That's a lot of monsters. It's a lot of monsters, man. They're legit monsters.

I remember when I was in Guam. I was in Guam doing a show and I think the military moved there and it was a bird that they was trying to protect and so they killed all these snakes and this is how when you change the ecosystem to something something happens. So the snakes not only were they eating that bird but they were eating and controlling the toad population. So when they got rid of the snake, we were coming back from the show and it's like it's literally hundreds of thousands of frogs that come out at night. [laughter] They everywhere. It's like you they you just see them flat in the street where you cuz you can't not you can't miss them. They It was hundreds of thousands of frogs on Guam and I was like, "Yo, man.

People [ __ ] up everything. They got to do something, man.

People meddle. Yeah. They got to bring the snake back.

Yeah. Got to bring the snake back.

Stop. Stop. Stop your [ __ ] People just meddle. I mean, there's so many countries that are infested with animals that people brought in to kill other animals. You know, like Australia has a giant feral cat problem. They brought in feral cats, I think, to kill a I forget what species. I think it was a toad they were trying to kill off.

My neighborhood has a goddamn cat problem. Like [laughter] in my neighborhood is like one cat has some babies and my family has something to do with it. We fed we fed the cats and then of course [ __ ] in

course you want to be nice. Meanwhile they're killing billions of birds every year in this country.

Cats are I love cats. I love cats too but they kill billions. House cats kill billions of birds and mammals in this country every year. If you you don't have a bug problem if you have a cat in your house because we you know we had these water bugs they call them cockroaches but I've watched it before I left the cat that just outside he was just slapping one around. It's like five of them dead out there. He's just slapping one around like just toying with him. I'm like but I don't mind cuz then they never make it into my house.

It's like cats are

know about the four pest campaign that happened in China in the '60s.

What they do? explains it to you in just these little four

under MAU aimed at exterminating rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows as a part of the Great Leap Forward. It was framed as a public hygiene and agricultural protection drive meant to reduce disease and protect grain from being eaten or contaminated, mass mobilization methods included trapping and poisoning rats, swatting flies, mosquitoes, and organized efforts to scare and kill sparrows. Because like that it's before you get to the end here, they had one little problem, so they introduced something else to fix that problem. That created a new problem, so they introduced something else to fix that problem.

Yeah. It ended here with tens of millions of people dying from a famine because they didn't have

the natural ecosystem to

This is crazy. So

wow.

Sparrows were targeted because they ate grain seeds, but they also consumed large numbers of crop eating insects. Their near extinction caused an ecological imbalance leading to insect population booms, lower crop yields, and contributing to Chinese famine. The great Chinese famine, which tens of millions died. Wow.

You got to give something to get something.

Yeah, man. You don't think you're smarter than nature, you dumb [ __ ]

You got to give something to get cuz

there's a balance out there and we don't totally understand that balance.

What's this fish that that we have now? Asian carp, the one that's infested all the different lakes. And then there's snake head. That's another one.

Then that the joint that torpedoes up.

Oh, that's the Asian carp. Yeah. They fly through the air when you're in a boat.

They just for whatever reason when you're in a boat, they just try to throw themselves onto the boat. [laughter] Like, get me the [ __ ] out of this lake. There's so many of them. And they don't have a natural predator. And they bring them into places sometimes to clean up the algae. And then also you have now now you have a carp problem. Now the carp eat all the algae. They eat everything where this like your whole lake looks like a swimming pool. There's no algae left. Look at these [ __ ] things. That is crazy. That's the Illinois River. I mean this is just hundreds of fish just flying through the air everywhere they go. How nuts is that? You ever see people uh they shoot them with bows and arrows? So they wait for them to hop up in the air. They try to catch them in the air with a bow and arrow

with the string on it. Bring

Oh yeah. Yeah. There's a bunch of people do that.

It's a very uh popular sport. [laughter]

Is this fish edible?

I don't know.

I've never heard of anybody eat I know people eat regular carp. I don't know if Asian is Asian carp edible.

Yep. There you go.

Nutritious lean.

It's lean and nutritious.

Has a clean, mild flavor.

So I would just have a net rolling behind me and

fillet of fish. There you go. Don't you guys need product? There you go. get [laughter] out there with bows and arrows and get [snorts] it done.

How how many crawfish does Texas and Louisiana consume in crawfish season?

That's a good question. I guess you would have to do it in pounds, right? Would you do it in pounds or millions of actual crawfish? Cuz do they they don't measure them in individuals? They weigh them by weight, right? Because they're kind of they they go by weight.

How many pounds of crawfish do you think Texas just say Texas and Louisiana in a year?

Oh man. 50 million.

I have to ask again, but it did give me uh 90% of the farm crawfish comes from Louisiana.

90%.

How many pounds?

I didn't give me the answer. How many pounds?

How many pounds does te I know I went way too high. How many pounds does Texas and Louisiana consume in a year?

I'm going to say two million pounds.

No, it's got to be more than that.

Really? Two million pounds is a lot.

It's [ __ ] way more than that. What is it? What is it? 70% of the consumed amount is eaten in Louisiana and the total is upwards of 150 million pounds.

Yeah. I'm trying to tell you

120 to 150 million annually.

Whoa.

Just in Louisiana.

70% which is almost 100 million pounds of that is just in Louisiana.

Between crawfish boils and crawfish egg dufet. That is [laughter] [ __ ] delicious. Amen.

Delicious.

That is a crazy thing.

Texas doesn't have a number. It just says tens of millions.

Well, all we needed we got the Louisiana thought that would be to double what the whole country ate. That's crazy.

Like Maryland actually thinks that they are big on crab and we and we just be shaking our head like okay.

Like it's No, I think we shipped crab to them. Like we the Chesapeake Bay cannot outdo the Gulf of Mexico.

we

Gulf of America now, by the way.

It is. We We still We still G of you. I don't think Mexico agreed. It's like, no. Like

I don't think they did either.

They like, "No, you know, this is not the the Guff of America. We still like We not saying that."

That's hilarious. [laughter] Well, hey brother, it's great to talk to you again as always. It's always fun,

Very good to do.

Thank you.

Do it more often,

man. I'm here.

Okay, let's do it. It's always fun.

Uh, tell everybody where they want if they want to consume all your specials. All of it's on YouTube. Is it

All of it's on YouTube, but you can go to aliadique.com. Um, the new special out. My father is getting busy right now. Um, it is a it's a great this is a great special. It really is.

Where did you record this?

Um, that was in Detroit.

Beautiful. Like I said, um, I love what you do. I love the fact that you're you're so prolific and you know that you've built this whole thing just just on hard work. [music] So, congratulations.

Appreciate you. Thank you very much. Always good to see you. Bye. Bye.